Gots a nice little haircut today. Oh, I love my hair so much with its spikiness all over the place. It makes me feel so special! *Editor's Note: Mike, you are so gay!* The fact that I was jumping for joy made me not want to wear my bandanna in the gym to show off this fact. *Editor's Note: I rest my case.*

Since I got to the place to get my hair worked on, I read a bit in the magazines there. I've already seen Entertainment Weekly and most of anything related to male issues. So, I looked at Seventeen.

*Editor's Note: Mike is really one of the most maculine guys you'll ever see. Seriously.*

It's weird how different girly magazines are compared to men's. When I read Seventeen, it seemed like the whole magazine was about getting boys to like girls. Weird. The most important issues were on how Hilary Duff feels about the issues she deals with while filming movies or making horrible songs to be played endlessly (I'm sure parents will side with me on this one) on MTV. The only good article was on Britany Murphy. Then again, the questions were nothing thought provoking.

I did get the giggles on the sexuality questions. One question was, "What are people talking about when they say there is a scent to sex?" The answer had me laughing! Okay, here goes........

"Males have a smell to their semen. It's more like dishwashing detergent. Girls' smells from their vaginas smell like "oceany" but sometimes they can smell bad from infections."

Wow! I've gotta admit that many twats do smell like the sea. Some smelled really bad, as if there was some funky morning breath down there. Overall, twats aren't that bad and I prefer them natural. As long as there isn't any weird gunk coming out, I'm a big eater. It just made me laugh to read Seventeen Magazine explaining the scent of sex. It is pretty recognizable.

I'm not too pissed at girly magazines at times. I just hate it when girls take them so seriously. Cosmopolitan is not THE bible to life. If there is one thing that makes life horrible, it's finding a girl that reads it all seriously. I HATE that magazine but I laugh at the fluffiness that goes with how moronic the headline article gets.

"That Sex Position That Will Really Get Him"

If you've been fucking for years and can't get the guy off, there are some serious problems in that relationship. Every position will send a guy into convulsions of orgasmic bliss and they've ALL BEEN DISCOVERED! My favorite is being ridden and I have absolutely no interest in getting fingered no matter how much fun Stifler had in Road Trip. None.

Is it just me in thinking all this? I mean, a lot of the magazines aimed at girls just make them think more along the lines on getting a boyfriend. What happened to the girls that cared about what goes on in the world? Doesn't anyone read books anymore? News? Does it always have to be about whether a thong should be worn on the first date or third? I guess we all should know what that smell coming out of twats is, huh?

I don't want to get too much into this. It's become a habit for me to read girly magazines in waiting rooms. There is nothing else there! I love Newsweek, Time, and even Business Weekly (boring but occasionally good) but instead I am stuck with Cosmo Girl in which I need to know what those wacky Olsen sisters are up to! Did you know one of them has a boyfriend in college?

*Slaps head on computer-Bang, Bang*

The only other thing on my mind right now is that my dad is thinking of getting satellite TV here in this house. That means I will have to buy a box to receive more than 4 channels. Fine by me but I'm not really enthused about it. I don't watch much TV since I don't like to look like a zombie. The only shows I watch are: news, E! News, Surf Girls, Reno 911!, The Restaurant (I hate Rocco), Survivor, and anything that strikes me on occasion. I know that makes me boring or something since most people in this neighborhood are inside watchin endlessly. TV is better with a 6 pack of beer and a joint since you end up laughing at yourself. Or is it Adult Swim on The Cartoon Network? I don't know but it once worked for me.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07