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| "Let's get to the point.......let's roll another joint." -Tom Petty In a nearby town there is a huge issue about what is soon to make it's appearance at it's well known bar. It's not for the most squeamish of people so you'll have to leave Grandma at home. Kids should have their eyes shielded since this kind of thing can damage them for life. All small animals, especially beagles and pomeranians plus lizards, are not to be allowed on the premises when this kind of thing goes on. What am I talking about? Nude karaoke! I never thought I'd find myself laughing at the going on in a bar since I've seen it all: public urination (both male and female), public sex (short skirts are quite the easy access), near death experiences (why is it mostly girls that I see passed out on curbs? Oh, it must be Ladies' Night!), and the occasional male with a fake eye that will place it on the table before you to freak everyone out but not me. So, the nearby town has an issue with nude karaoking that will take place soon. According to the local news, over 120 people have signed up. I told my mother a thousand times that she is not allowed to keep her knickers on so looks like it worked. According to her, she is not on the list but will continue to sing in her bra as demonstrated when I was a wee lad but enough about my life. Over 120 people will somehow find themselves without clothes and singing "Baby Got Back" or "We Are the World" while the cowards will be pointing out how small guys are and how she should shave a bit more down there. Sad. It just points to the fact that we are more inclined to judge instead of respect that some people just like to feel their balls flop around. I know since girls have enjoyed seeing my stuff fly all over the place when I get out of bed naked. I'm sure naked karaoking is not for the faint of heart but why not? Well, for one thing, not me. I may have spent a few drunken nights singing into Bald-O's karaoke machine hooked up to a 55 inch high definition TV but I sure as hell don't wanna have my bits fly all over the place, especially out in the middle of nowhere on 40 acres of land. His sister saw my penis and we shall leave it at that. It's funny how us weight-lifters check each other out in the gym's locker room. I caught 1 looking at me as I changed down to my Calvins. Be it known that guys do get insanely jealous of how the other looks, especially the lower confidence folks. I sure as hell won't deny that I am curious as to how I am packing compared to a few guys in my gym. It's not many that I'll compare but a few have me wishing I had a certain look like in the deltoid area (shoulders) or the lower abs I just cannot seem to "pop" out. I've got the top 4 abs but those lower ones are for really special people. I must have spent a good 10 minutes on my floor looking for my old Smashing Pumpkins CD because I've got an itchin' for "1979." That song is beautiful and full of life so it's made me wonder how Billy Corgan wrote that so unlike others. Oh, I love "Ava Adore" and others but "1979" reminds me of good/bad moment in my life when my best friend lost to alcoholism. "On a crowded street, you and I should meet." Kind of funny how that new serial murder movie, Saw, is coming out the day after Valentine's Day, huh? Am I the only one that will find it funny that there will be some guys that get the DVD early and want to watch it with their girlfriends? I've yet to see the movie but can't deny my own curiousity of it. Fuck, I have ye to see The Grudge as well. Oh, we got snow, once again. Hate that fucking white shit but I deal. Only an inch but I still wish it would stop since it looks like rain will be another continuous trilogy of terror while ice remains in the darkness. Although the thrill of nude karaoking is in my mind, I prefer to read a book since only one girl is allowed to see my naughty parts. This week's is "Smashed" and in case you have not heard the hype over it, the book is a true story of a 14 year old girl's descent into alcoholism. It's supposed to be brutally honest and even goes into the rape that changed what she thought of drinking. If you're interested, Barnes N Noble is offering it for 20% off. You see, I lost my best friend, Newman, to alcoholism and it stings as I see a possible Bald-O going into it. The movie, Less Than Zero, did a real good portrayal of what I went through in which a guy comes home from college to find his 2 friends spinning out of control. I was Clay, the good guy with everything. Newman was Julius, the best friend lost to heroin and other drugs. MR was Claire, the close girlfriend spinning out to cocaine. Yeah, we were spoiled brats with too much time on our hands but I was never really interested in that kind of life. I may have inhaled and drank but nothing was ever addicting. Isn't that great to find a movie that really defines your life in some way? I can't say I relate to Napolean Dynamite or Andrew in Garden State as detailed as I was in Less Than Zero. Although Garden State does represent a point in my present life that I did not feel or was depressed while Sara woke me up, Brenton Ellis's Less Than Zero just shook me up. "It's the springtime of my life! Well, I am outta here to sleep and attend a meeting tomorrow. At least my resume only needs to be printed up since I finally was able to do that after spending much time waiting for my dad whome is going nuts on his computer. Goodnight. 0 Got Balls? |
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