I felt warm all over. There before me was a picture of a woman with her legs open holding up her dress while squatting in a fountain. It just felt weird to be liking this picture so much. Hell, my penis sure liked it! They plump when you cook 'em and this one was really cooked.

The funny thing is that I had no idea what was happening to me but it felt good. I snuck a few more peaks and left. Oh, I came back a few more times later on while my mom was taking a nap. For some reason, this patch of hair shaped in a triangle was really nice to see. Oh, how things change when a boy gets older!

Yeah, that is a true story of my first real sight of a naked woman, folks! It started with Playboy and will end with Playboy. I love the magazine but I don't consider it porn at all. It's nudity made simple. Most guys I know like hardcore since they don't want to deal with articles. Fuck 'em! I love articles, too.

It's funny how I feel about porn. On one hand, it's gross and on the other hand, it's kind of cool. I have a sense of humor about it all. The reason I don't like it is that I just like sex, no extreme shit like 500 guys ramming one woman while she is getting cummed on all over herself. Doesn't do it for me.

The first porn video I saw was On Golden Blonde. Funny shit! It was an 80s porn video with this guy coming over and fucking 3 women. It was strange how 2 girls were licking the end of this guy's dick just to get that last drop of cum. It was amusing enough. You never forget your first time.

Now, I have only seen around 8-15 porn videos. I think the 70s ones are hilarious and should be in the comedy sections of video stores. Hear me, Blockbuster! There are some people that do not agree with censorship!

1845 was teh first documented picture of a naked woman. It was on a French postcard. It always goes back to France, huh? If you don't get that joke, you must not know what's going on in the U.N. Oh, how educated I am.

Later on "Tijuana Bibles" were the only way to see nude women. What you don't think there was porn for girls? You're right! These "Bibles" were located underneath liquor counters. Just pretty much quality drawings. I remember my first one. It was a stick figure with a triangle on the crotch and a set of giant eyeballs on the chest. Always had to have long hair. Whatever floats your boat.

The World Wars brought men of America overseas. It was here that men brought back diseases from prostitutes as well as the urge to fight to see porn. The images in Europe were needed here. Men that served fought for the right to see naked chicks! See? These people fought for more than just to be free of bad rulers.

Oral sex in the early 1900s was considered an "act against nature." They sure missed a lot of good stuff, huh? The funny thing is this: the act was shown in images BUT men were dressed in garters and black socks. It sounds odd but this is true. Apparently, this was the only way to show this act at that time.

Genitals were rarely shown in magazines. It was basically breasts and butt. In 1969, Tip Top magazine was one of the first to show women with their legs wide open. This was acceptable as long as no insertion was shown.

Porn is cool to me in one way. I think women should be able to view the naked male. Now, I know many guys will be visiting my house with torches to burn me down but I am all for it. I know girls wanna see some penises just like guys love to see vaginas. Why not? The body is beautiful.

Have you ever noticed in movies brought by Hollywood that guys just somehow wake up with their boxers of pajama pants? Well, when I have had a nice night of sex, these damn things don't just appear on me! Hell, I love to wake up and walk to the bathroom with my penis flopping around. It's a beautiful sight and I want her to see it as well.

Porn has many penises on display here. The biggest is Long Dong Silver's at 19 inches! It hung past his knees. This is not necessarily documented, though. It's just been discussed in the porn community. (feel free to discuss)

John C. Holmes's weiner is at 13 inches. He lost his ability to get a hard on thanks to drugs. John also died of AIDS. The movie Boogie Nights (great flick!) was loosely based on his life.

Ron Jeremy aka "The Hedgehog" measures at 10.25 inches. No, he is not related to me. For one thing, I don't have excessive body hair on my ass or back. Hell, I have a toned tummy. I am such a sweet looking thing.

Now, the porn actor named Peter North measures at just over 9 inches. I have seen this guy in almost all the porn videos I have seen.

Last but certainly not least, The Hedgehoggy measures a bit above average with quite a nice amount of girth. Yes, I am pretty close to Peter North here. Maybe I should be a porn star......

The point is that I find it funny that only 10% of porn is bought by women. Many girls I know wish that Hollywood would even things out by showing some dicks instead of just TnA. I'm fine with that. It would be funny seeing magazines that rate starlets breast sizes now rate actors' hoo-has.

Now, I love vaginas. It shouldn't be a surprise. There is one that I absolutely think is just gorgeous. Her name is Ginger Lynn Allen. I am not kidding! When I saw her legs wide open, there were no bumps or any little nicks. It was just beautiful smooth pink. Is it any wonder why I was so hungry? Just to taste all that mouth watering goodness in there!

In 1906, Sears became the first catalog to sell a vibrator. Before this time, doctors would deal with "hysterical women." They were defined as "women with swelling in genital area and excessive vaginal lubrication." What the doctor did was use a vibrator to massage the vulva. It only took a few minutes. At this point the vibrator cost over $200. Thanks to Sears, it now cost $5.95.

What was funny was that at this time, no one knew women could achieve orgasm. It was only expected of men. In the 1960s the debate piled on. Timothy Leary was one of the pioneers in telling women to "tune in and drop out" in enjoying themselves. It's kind of hard to explain this part.

The pill debuted in 1960 so it was the first time women were in contol of their bodies (sorta). They could now rely on themselves since guys were bad about putting on condoms. (is that surprising?). This was also the start or near to the Sexual Revolution. Women wanted to be considered sexual so they shall be!

The 70s were porn's glory days. I love the 70s porn. People that participated in them at this period were very close like in Boogie Nights. There was always fear of being prosecuted. Most of the porn videos were made quickly and distributed by hand to theaters. Yeah, we know that most people went to jerk off.

Well, that is part 1 of the "naughty file" or.....(ahem)....what I've read in The Christy Report. I hope this is okay. It's fucking tiring for me now since I am a bit sleepy. I'll try to do the next part tomorrow. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07