That's my nickname from an email forward sent to me by a friend. Cute. You take your name's lettering and add the words that fit each letter. First name and last name. Arrgh. Even though it made me laugh a bit, it wasn't for long.

My stomach's rumbling all day. All I've eaten is cereal, a bagel with turkey and mustard, yogurt, and a thing of graham crackers. Scary my diet has become, huh? Well, I am hungry now and it aint for no damn graham crackers!

I don't know what it is but I am still furious. When I am like this, I tend to not talk to people so that I don't give them this side of me. Lashing out or anger is not really me. If you ever meet me, I'm pretty much just the nicest person you'll ever meet in life. All you have to do is get around the walls I put up thanks to loss of trust. Once you're there, you should be fine. I have a pretty sturdy kingdom.

Since I am in no mood to go frolick outside, I decided to take a long nap and watch a movie called Flashback. It's a German horror movie about a guy killing teens with a sickle. Sound familiar? Kind of like I Know What You Did Last Summer. The movie is due out next Tuesday but I have special priviledges to things.

The movie, Flashback, was okay. Nothing major in the scare departments but the sight of a cat in a blender had my eyebrow raised. Not something I want to see. I don't necessarily know if it's the anger but when that guy got a sickle in his dick, I was fine with that. Maybe certain characters deserve to go down in horror movies. Who knows?

What's funny is my fascination with mental institutions. The movie centers around a girl that just gets out of one. It would be so nice to just be in a room away from this moronic society for a period of time. No phones or anything to distract me. All I'd do is push-ups and paint. The hell if I know what I'd do. It just depends on what they'd let me have access to.

I'm not one to make fun of the mentally ill. In fact, I wish people would try to understand them instead of just ship them to a place. The look is like hauling cattle off to the slaughter houses. Oh, and we think of ourselves as so innocent and sweet? Sad. People should take a closer look at themselves and how their own evils come out. Greed is one of America's biggest. Gluttony is another.

It's the fact that we make heros out of people like Jared, the Subway guy. Why!?! The fat fuck should have gotten up off his fat ass years ago. Just because he did something he was supposed to do doesn't make him a fucking hero! It's like saying a person is so proud to see a man with his son. Well, this man is supposed to spend time with his son. One should not be amazed that the guy didn't take off and fuck around. Oh, my mind has so many things of frustration and anger now.

I am still having problems looking for bonds on the net. It's gotten to the point that I might as well just give up or something. What am I doing!?! I want to graduate and get the hell out of here!

The Academy Awards are tomorrow and I have to listen to Joan Rivers's constant babble of nothing. What gives that ugly fuck a right to criticize? She sure as hell doesn't dress any better. Whatever.

- - 2009-07-07

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