This bachelor party will be a couple of firsts for me. I have never been to a Major League baseball game. I've seen so many games on TV (mostly Cubs) since I love baseball. Hell, I played in high school and college so I definitely have a respect for the game. Don't think of me as a dumb jock and we'll get along okay. Gotta thank Mom for getting me hooked on Phonics. *giggles like a schoolgirl*

Another first for me will be the fact that I know Mark will want to go to the strip joints. I know him since the last time he went to a Cardinals game was also a visit to the strip joint. Bald-O went as well and would not shut up about seeing strippers completely nude. These two dipshits even paid them to eat each other out. Hmmm....is my interest suddenly arising or what?

First of all, I don't know how to act in a strip joint. It's weird to me just like I don't know how to react to being friendly with a midget. All I know is that I must keep my hands to myself. I'm not sure if I would pay for a lapdance. I've had plenty of them in my lifetime. I've got to stop thinking and just doing things. I worry too much.

One of the reasons I've never been to a strip joint is that it has never crossed my mind at all. It was never something I was interested in. Am I really a guy? Every guy I know thinks it is funny how I've never been to a "titty-bar." That's what they call it.

In other news, I am pretty much close to broke big time. I have no idea how I will send all these pics out. I'm thinking of ways other then prostituting myself for money. If I did that, I'd probably make $2 to $10 like Duece Bigalow, one of the few movies to make me cry (I couldn't stop laughing at the Tourrete's Syndrome woman). However, I might be able to dance around the pole of a lamp.

You want the truth? I'm not too keen on Mark marrying Bald-O's sis. First of all, I really like Crystal. She's been a bit like a sis to me as well. Yeah, she's really cute but Mark is not someone I could see her with for very long. Once he loses interest, the whold marriage is going to hell fast. I'm not kidding at all! I know things about Mark just like Bald-O does as well.

Bald-O has not only the fear of losing his drinking buddy, Mark, but also his sis. He doesn't want to see her go through bad times. The big problem is that Crystal does not have an interest in school so these two will be as white-trash as it gets in some ways. I can see their lawn filled with tires and other auto parts.

Mark is one of the coolest guys in the world but I don't know.....marriage? He was one of those that was highly against it before since he was married long ago to a woman that cheated on him (he cheated back). It's that all of a sudden Crystal is pregnant that disturbs me. I'll wish the best but I might be biting my tongue in some ways.

- - 2009-07-07

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