My past came back to me for a short while. While I was in the grocery store of Meijers, my mom and I passed the pharmacy section. A girl I grew up with worked there named Jena. It was funny seeing her since I met her at the age of 12 along with a crush. Yeah, I used to play with the kids that lived in back of me as well as hope that Jena would come out as well.

Jena wasn't just any girl. She could play Kill the Man With the Ball with us. Hell, she beat the shit out of my brother while playing. In case you don't know, it's a game in which you try to keep the football in your hands as long as possible while people beat the shit out of you. Sound interesting? Try playing with us in which you will get a bloody nose and busted face. I was good!

My parents left twice today so I had the house to myself. The first thing I wondered was about rebelling. I could take go out and get booze and watch all the hardcore porn I could handle while they were gone. Then, I could yell obscenities at my neighbors. Oh, that's right! I'm over 21. That's not rebelling.

Isn't that strange? I could do anything I want but don't. It's like now that I reach an age to do things I longed to do, it no longer becomes important. Take smoking. I only did it for a year just to spite my parents and see what they would do. Nothing. They did nothing and I only became psychologically addicted to smoking. Oh, by the way. I've never bought a pack of cigarettes my whole life. Fact.

One of my friends in high school was the school psychologist. She would call me in to see her just to shoot the shit. It's funny how someone much older than me found me so smart. I'm not kidding! I got away with so much since I'd tell this psychologist that I wanted to see her when things were dull in the classroom, like boring P.E. She always asked me why I never rebelled. I'll tell you why.

I never needed to rebel. All my ya-yas were let out before high school. Vandalism? Done it. Beating kids up. Passed with flying colors. By the time high school came around, nothing really interested me in rebelling but watching my friends do it was amusing.

Maybe I am just odd. Never been the kind of person to run with the crowd. Just set me in a big room with an amazing sound system and I will jam the hell out of whatever it is inside me. Yoda would love me but I'm no Jedi. I'd be a Sith Lord. Girls, ask your boyfriends what a Sith Lord is if you don't know.

*Hint: They are bad guys...*

Oh, on a fun note: I got a surprise email from Sammy! At first, I was like, "Sammy..who?" Oh, I kid. Sammy's surprise made my day a little bit better since I'm lost in my mind again with dilemmas. It's always good to hear from my Texas folk!

Mister Religious called tonight. There was no way in hell I would go over there tonight. First of all, I cannot take any religious bullshit right now. I'll lash out like a wolverine cornered by 6 wolves. Somebody aint gonna be alive.

It's the religious bullshit that is bugging me for some reason. Court TV is doing this thing on Jerry Falwell versus Larry Flynt. Now, I hate Hustler magazine as well as Larry but I'd take him over Jerry Falwell and his false bullshit any day. At least, Larry has the nerve to say, "I like naked women."

I mean, c'mon! The body of a woman nude isn't going to harm the world but religious fucks just annoy me about this bullshit. If each person is made in the eyes of Gawd (I misspell for a reason, okay?), then the human body should not be covered up at all times. There are so many ways I could go with this topic but I'm not in the mood at all. Hence my anger.

It's gotten to the point for some reason tonight that I wish MR would just go away. I'm not a follower of anything. I just do my own thing in life. I don't harm anyone and live as best I can. No drama makes it so much easier. I just like things neat.

- - 2009-07-07

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