There are days you like your body, days you want to run and hide from it, and then there are the days you love what you see. Today, I just had to stand there and stare. Yes, I would fuck me. Even though I have only been working out 2 days a week as a result of a bad right bicep, this is one cool looking machine. Excuse me while I admire the good points: arms thick, delts like tennis balls, very muscular chest, toned tiny tummy with 4 solid abs (2 won't appear not matter what), a thick roll of beef hanging down, and thin legs slowly getting stronger.

I know you think I am so full of myself but I'm really not. There are times we should stop thinking how awful we look and see the good for once. What I do in the gym is very difficult but I built myself up from the ground up. Me, the one that would admire other athletes in the gym has come home! Yeah......right.

It was probably all the hot air that was getting to me. After feeling so bored out of my skull all day reading here and there, I guess it just felt good to pep myself up. Is it any wonder that I want to know what my measurements are when I get measured for my tux this weekend?

It's funny how since I am a guy I know all the little things guys look for in the opposite sex, the things that we notice. You'd be surprised that not all of us just look at tits n' ass. Not me at least. I'm more into cute with brains. What I would love to do is be a girl for a day to put what I know to a test. It would be fun passing my day flashing cute boys and lesbians along with having to figure out how bad my fashion sense is. Could I handle "fuck me pumps?" Me thinks not.

What I would worry about in becoming a female is the thing called.......a period. Yes, all men are scared and shudder at the mere mention of that word except moi. It no longer scares me anymore since I lived in a coed dorm next to 6 girls all my time in college. What was odd was hearing how all of them got their periods at once after living together for so long.

How does a boy figure out what a period is? Well, when I was somewhere around 9-11, I used to go grocery shopping with my mom. It soon was noticeable that she put a box into the grocery cart with a drawing of a woman coming out of the ocean with her hands up in the air proclaiming freedom. Now, I wondered why I never got a box of these since every boy loves freedom. Oh, how I cringe at too much info but I have no shame.

In the old house, we all shared 1 bathroom. It sucked since Mom took so long to do her hair and I really really had to pee so bad. "Wait a few more minutes" was all I heard as me and my morning wood awaited relief. You don't wanna know how many times I came close to just opening the front door to turn the frozen sidewalk yellow.

Since I had to share a bathroom with my dear mother, one could not help but wonder why there were always a huge "mummified" amount of toilet paper in the wastebasket. "She must have a very big cold" was what I usually told myself. I was young, okay?

Well, as any young boy gets, I became curious about the vagina. It was funny how I looked in the dictionary for anything that told of the female reproductive organs. It felt kinky but I did it, all of those damn words and it ends up in the "V" section!!!!! It was a long read, I tell ya.

This was funny. I thought it was so cool to know the name of the female's sex organs that I told a friend of mine. I said, "it's called the vagina!" This friend of mine told me to shhhhh. His parents could hear us from the chimney area we were standing near as I told him. Isn't it funny how it's so easy to say nowadays?

Well, my restless need of education brought me to reading about the vagina as a kid. That's where I figured out periods. I'd read everything I could get my hands on to figure out the "whys." Needless to say, I pretty much cringed but it was info.

By the time 5th grade rolled around, we were to learn about sex education. The boys were taken out at one point to have a discussion about something. I knew damn well they were talking about periods. Yuck! Who'd wanna be there anyway was what I wondered.

My high school girlfriend, Beth, would warn me when she had her period. I'd always tell her to NOT tell me since I just didn't want to hear it. Yes, I had to deal with her craving for chocolate but only to keep her quiet about the subject. I was really tired of putting my fingers in my ears as well.

When I bought the guys a Girls Gone Wild tape, we watched it on the last day of school. It was just us in a bare living room all excited sitting on the couch together. When one girl flashed the camera, we all noticed that there was......(gasp).....a string hanging down there!!! All of us stood up and covered our eyes. It was almost like those monkeys, "See No Evil, Hear No Evil," except we were all covering our eyes.

My minor is in health studies so I had to deal with anatomy classes. Of course, there was discussions on periods but also on how body fat can affect them as well as eating disorders. These became issues instead avoiding them.

Life became different. After living next to the girls for so many years and hearing them bitch about their periods and cramps, I confronted my inner sensitive male (it came out in 95 somewhere) to help me through all this. No longer was I to run like a madman away from a box of StayFrees and OBs. I could sit still while I hear about these things. Just don't tell me what an applicator is and I'll be fine.

- - 2009-07-07

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