Apparently, I, The Hedgehoggy own a big dark house out in the woods. The good thing is that I am a werewolf and on the good side. The bad thing is that in that dark house I own is a bad werewolf already changed along with my little dog, Jethro (don't know how he got in my dream). What's a good werewolf to do!?!

I went into my house and hunted down this bastard that was after my dog to anger me. As he was about to get Jethro, I slammed into the big hairy fucker and did as much damage as possible. Since this guy had already changed, I was in extreme danger. The big fight of me ending up pretty bloody got me to finally turn and battle to the end! It was an amazing battle as well. Jethro was safe and sound although a bit shaken up. Then, I woke up. Weird.

So, here I was driving north in my town to see if Borders got my order. As I got closer to the store, my tape played "Whatta Man" by Salt N Pepa. It takes a certain type of guy to play that in the hood but fortunately, I am not that type of guy. Yeah, I rolled the windows up like I do when I sing along to Paula Abdul songs. Don't you just love too much information?

How do you make a fat girl squeal? Well, you get a video camera and tell her you are from Girls Gone Wild. That's how. She'll most likely want to flash her flabby sagging tits and voila! Trashy fun for your buddies.

I'm serious. I've just about had it with Girls Gone Wild. As sad as it has gotten, I only look forward to seeing dorm rooms and how people decorate them. Flabby floppy tits just don't get to me at all.

Why do fat girls think they are incredibly hot when they wear thongs? This is one question that really gets to me. Here is a huge roll of fat hanging over her pelvis yet she thinks that just because she is wearing some kind of "floss" that her body is sexy. I see this all the time at bars where girls wear the tightest thing imaginable while their bellies go flopping around. It's just gross.

It's also my incredible understanding or reality. Wanna know why I don't care about wet t-shirt contests? It's always the fat ones that get up there to expose themselves while the skinny ones sit in the background because they *think* they are too fat. Sad. Do the fat ones know how to have more fun or something?

Don't get me wrong. The occasional pretty one shows up but it's far and few. Almost always it's the gross one that will finish off that box of Ding-Dongs that thinks her gigantic belly is where it's at. Who has ever found a beached whale sexy?

Girls Gone Wild should give everyone their money back. I've seen too many that just make me cringe. Let's see......drunk girls falling over, too much screaming as the shirt comes up, gum chewing that is irritating, and the "I forgot my tampon is in" ones as well. Yikes! It's the beautiful ones that are so shy.

Now why am I stating this info? It's just a warning since I just saw the latest Girls Gone Wild On Campus Part 2. Pretty dull. It's sad how the color of one girl's panties was incredible. Hey, I had to find something to make the DVD worth watching since I borrowed it. 45 minutes of my life gone bugs me.

So, after all that excitement of my brother's psychotic girlfriend, I'm a bit calmer now. I just find it odd to obsess over someone that obviously doesn't share it. My phone rang way too many times and this girl is SCARY! My brother says she is demanding that it is her way or no way. Well, finally he got some balls to tell her to fuck off. I'm fearful of letting my dogs outside since she might kidnap them or something.

- - 2009-07-07

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