Hi, Hedgehoggy! I'm so glad you took time out of reading for that annoying final you have coming up. It's a rare treat to get to interview morons like you. Not many people talk about strange things that just pop in their minds since they are so scared of what other people think. You're.....different.

1. Best way to say hello? Oh, that's easy! We just give the finger. It's our way of saluting the ability to say what we want as well as giving this finger a little exercise.

2. Favorite part of your body? I think it has to be my ass. It's hair-free and quite hard/soft at the same time. Must be all that time spent in the gym. Hopefully, I won't get "old man's ass" in which the ass just disappears. It's a terrible thing to have to wonder where your ass went.

3. What body part is everyone else into? That's easy. My chest gets a lot of attention when I wear t-shirts. It's been that way since high-school. Everyone has a bodypart that just grows so fast as a result of working out. Mine just happened to be the chest since I started out doing 100 push-ups a day.

4. Your least favorite body part? I hate my right arm since it's been through hell: twisted and torn so many times. I'm also not completely fond of my chest as a result of too much muscle. My legs could use some work since I only just started working on them.

5. Clarify any rumors about yourself? I am not stoned 100% of the time. My contacts make my eyes look bloodshot during periods of the day so I give off this stoned appearance. When I met Kristan, she *thought* I was. Funny but I've only done it a few times.

6. Who talks out of his ass the most? Bald-O! There are times when that's all he talks from. I swear I have caught him doing insane things like telling everyone how great he is at basketball (his high school team went to state) but doesn't back up these things. Oh, we nail him good at times!

7. When is it appropriate to call a guy a bitch? When he's acting like a whiney little punk. Nothing pleases him and so on. I've come across this on occasion.

8. Goal in life? Ohmygawd. I wanna be a ninja/werewolf to rid the world of evil. I'd hunt down murderers, rapists, and thugs to make the night safe once more thanks to my keen nose. No trials since I know who did what and I'd tear 'em to pieces. I'd be a good werewolf and try not to shed in the house and pee in my neighbors' garden.

9. Most hated celebrity? Jello and Steven Seagal. Both are whiney little bitches but one has an ugly big ass that I have no idea why people like her. I'm just Mikey from the block about to boot her fatass!

10. First time? I was 19. She was 29 and boy was she a woman! I wrote about it long ago but maybe I should bring back the memories of sex again. Maybe.

11. Person I'd like to see kicked? Most rappers and their bullshit about bling-bling and that money is what life is all about. Oh, I hate Snoop so much!

12. Girls' whom you'd lick their wet panties? Oh, that's so nasty! It's also easy! Eliza Dushku, Angelina Jolie, and Caroline Corr. All are brunettes and all deserve a good licking. A growing boy needs his nutrients!

13. Seen a dead body? Just in a casket.

14. Memory that makes you cringe? Not so much makes me cringe but almost getting expelled from private Catholic school and having some of my schoolmates rally for me was pretty cool. How can you not like The Hedgehoggy?

15. Ever had a pick-up line used on you? Yeah, but I forgot what it was. A redhead came up to me and pulled me away from my gang to talk to me for 45 minutes in the bar. I was so drunk that I cannot believe she would even bother with me. Loved her nose ring, though.

16. Fired a gun? Yup. I used to own a .22 and I've fired a .38 as well. This was done at a firing range a long time ago to learn weapons safety in my self-defense training. I used to know hand to hand combat as well. I'm not someone to fuck with.

17. First time you got drunk? When I found my best friend's brother's Budweiser we decided to see what the big deal was. I was 10 (I think) and got trashed. The parent made me stay there as a sleepover since she was embarassed that she wasn't watching up enough. Funny how I couldn't get up the stairs. I only had 3 beers in high school.

18. Porn name? Well, I'd just go with the nickname given to my penis. Becca asked me what I would name it if I did. I told her "Notorious B.I.G." and she cried laughing so hard. My nuts got a name thanks to a friend, "2Pak." Are you giggling?

19. Can sex go on too long? Sometimes. I've had a couple days in which I just fucked all day. Never put on my clothes and just made love to the most beautiful woman I've ever been with. My penis was so sore the next day from all that work! Other than that, I've never had a day in which this could occur. College can keep one busy plus she had roommates.

20. Stupid drunk tricks? Yup. I lost a bet in which the boys bet me I couldn't burn a hole in a $5 bill on my wrist. I now have two pink marks on my wrist for the rest of my life. Such a silly boy I am.

- - 2009-07-07

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