There is something to be said about college and meeting people that will be your friends for life. I've lived with Bald-O for 2 years, known Mark for 4, met Crystal in the dorm thanks to a surprise visit for her brother, and went over to Bald-O's parents' house to meet some zany people. This is the good life!

So, what I am saying is that yes, I am pretty happy. Every now and then, it's good to just put your mind away from the books and have a barbeque while bullshitting on the Lazyboys. Okay, if you can cook this works but never get near a grill, especially Bald-O's, unless you know what you are doing. Men like to do these things of barbequing and walking around with a cold bottle of Miller or Natty-Lite.

I forgot to mention my measurements and how Bald-O and I looked at each other with weird looks on our faces as the numbers were called out. My chest was measured at a "43" since I wanted to stop bench pressing so much weight earlier. My waist size according to the tape measure is a "37." There should be no surprise when I confronted the tailor on this but she said that measuring for a tux is different so I let that slide.

FYI, I wear a size 34 jeans baggy so that my Calvins can be seen when I raise my arms. It's sexy to show what kind of undies your wearing. This is why I encourage all those sexy skinny girls to have the rims of their panties be visible. You don't know just how the names of "Victoria's Secret" or "Hanes Her Way" can cause us to only operate with one thing at a time. All of our thought patterns go either to the big head or little head. It's just surprising that we still breathe, okay?

The funny thing about getting measured happened afterwards. Bald-O and I sat in the car to call his parents on the cell phone before they left to St. Louis for bridal things. Bald-O's mom answered and he asked for his little brother's measurements. Well, Michael (the little brother) was in the shower so his mom knocked on the door. He stood there in nothing but a towel while the mom was holding a tape measure. Michael got all freaked out (Bald-O could hear this on the phone and was laughing....then crying while laughing) and cried out, "What measurements!?!" Poor thing to have your mother at the door with a tape measurer and he thought she was there to measure his penis.

On the downside to all this is Bonnie (the female pup) is now in heat. When my mom picked her up, she got a little patch of blood on the front of her shirt. This is gonna suck because that means we have to seperate Bonnie and Clyde. While Bonnie can deal without Clyde, Clyde sings and pines for her all day and night. It's horrible to hear him tell his feelings for long periods of time as I type this. Those two are so close and VERY buddy-buddy. Horny males piss Bonnie off as well since there is only so much she can take of that little bastard trying to hump her all day. Bonnie with PMS is not good as well since she's been getting snooty lately.

You know what's really weird? While I was peeing on Bald-O's trailer, I got to thinking of how women really ought to give it a thought to having a penis. It's so much fun to pee outside without having to squat and then look for something to wipe with.

Here I was having the extreme urge to piss after drinking a few beers. All I had to do was undo my belt, unzip, get my cock out, and aim. The only work involved is to shake and place it back in safely. We've all seen There's Something About Mary and it brings horrible thoughts, okay? It's so much fun to pee on different things.

One has to be a true artist. As I pee, I try to hit all the important spots, like the fence and areas with bad painting done to them. A true artist waits til it's super cold and tries to form icicles by peeing in higher places. I'll elaborate further someday but you girls just don't know what you are missing!

As I danced with Crystal, I thought about how we have lost interest in dancing and such. I used to know how to waltz and do a little salsa. It's actually fun to do! So, Crystal and I ended up doing that thing where Patrick Swayze and Baby did a back and forth motion as the boys fixed dinner. It wasn't great but we tried as I sang in what I could of the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. It's funny how I know more of the words now as I type this. Every man should ask his woman to dance while dinner is being prepared. It's sexy to get out a bottle of wine, drink a little, and then ask that sweetie to shake a little with you.

- - 2009-07-07

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