All I am used to now is wind. Wind, wind, wind has been blowing all over the place. Trees are swaying and my basketball hoop (haven't played there for years) are in constant motion. My Yorkies pee with their hair flying all over the place. The only neat scene was seeing teenage goslings being taken for a walk with mother and father geese. Cute.

I have to admit that I am a bit worn out even though I only A. watched Survivor's finale B. did 300 push-ups C. went grocery shopping with Mom. That's my whole fucking day, folks! I think I owe it to Mom daily to help her with grocery shopping so I will not become one of those moronic males that have to call to verify every fucking item by taking a picture of it with their cameras (I have seen this happen). I know how to find not just beer but also bananas.

Survivor did not make me happy. I really was hoping Matt AKA "Psycho" would win the damn thing. Matt just seemed more deserving than this moronic swimsuit model that just sat there with the blonde that couldn't spell (all the names were spelled pretty bad, Heidi).

Tomorrow, I have to go get gas, a camera, and a bus ticket to go south. There is also the call I have to send to Bald-O about where to pick me up. I tried earlier but he was sleeping off his latest beer gathering. Boys need something to take their minds off chores.

Who knows what will end up on camera. Could it be naked males run amuck in a 4 star hotel? Unforeseen homosexuality at its best? Our very own Fight Club in the hotel started by yours truly? An argument as to who has the biggest weiner? Oh, pictures of boys trashed is priceless wouldn't you say?

Of course, I also need to get a shelf to pick up the latest amount of shit in my room found in odd places. I've needed this thing for a while. I could put my video games in it along with whatever the fuck I find. My room has so much stuff that even I, the most anal about my things, can't figure out what's in it. Over $25,000 worth of sexy things in there. I'm not just talking about my amazing collection of undies.

Ya know, I have to admit that it is a fantasy to make a mold out of my dick. People fucking to my schlong is an interesting idea. "I was poked by a Hedgehoggy" sounds pretty nice if you think about it. It's not the first time I've been in spot like that, huh? Just not a hershey-highway supporter,though.

Have you ever seen how they make dildos? I'd have to get hard and then stick my dick in giant pan of hardening mold substance. All the while staying hard. That's pretty difficult unless I have some girl to finger or something as I am standing there with a pan to keep my schlong in. It's like I'm making a cake with my crotch. Picture me standing there? Now stop that! Get those dirty thoughts out of your mind.

Well, I hope everyone had a nice Mother's Day with their mommies out there. Mine expects arguments and regular moronic insights on life.

- - 2009-07-07

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