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| Wow! I was watching Animal Planet and found out that the most terrifying animal on the planet is not alligators, spiders, sharks or bears. It's.........get this..worms! Yes, that's right! Those bastard we cut up in science class were always bad. I knew they'd come back for me and want to slither their way up my toe and suck out my eyeballs. Damn you, worms! We now return you to a saner Hedgehoggy..... Well, another weekend come and gone. Did I waste it? Pretty much. Am I bored? Aren't I always? Did I sleep? Somewhat, if you call being Spiderman and interesting time of your life. To tell you the truth, I'd like to be Batman but Spiderman I can relate to. So, the wedding is Saturday and I can't wait to get the fuck out of here. There won't be as much drinking since Bald-O's mom is gonna keep an eye on us. She doesn't want any "monkey business" before or after the wedding. That's why she's gonna have us over after the reception for who knows. At first, there was going to be a huge cookout for 200 people on 40 acres of gorgeous land. Bald-O, the boys, and I would be off doing gawd knows what way out who knows where. It would probably involve peeing on trees every 10 minutes. Men like the simple things in life: beer, ballgames, and blowjobs. It's funny how the bride now hates the main bridesmaid. You see, the bridesmaid is a two-face little bitch (as well as Bald-O's ex) that is stirring things up. She wore a very low-cut top to the bridal shower. Bald-O's mom was telling us how she looked like a "prostitute." Yes, I agree it was tacky so that's all I am gonna say. I gave the bridesmaid a nickname that Bald-O and I have been using since. It's "Wetspot." You don't wanna know why I gave that to her but trust me, there is a very good reason. Once, when the bridesmaid came to visit Bald-O in school, I came in to the living room. I said, "Oh, you must be........(Bald-O was looking at me with these eyes).....J!" I *almost* said, "Wetspot." Really close to saying it. Wanna know how bad my mom now makes me feel? She just told me that while I will be gone to the wedding, she is gonna cookout! What!?! Oh, I am going to miss big delicious juicy burgers! Damn! That just drives me crazy since its pretty easy to get my attention by getting my stomach to think. "Always thinking with your stomach, Chewy." Well, I am gonna head off to sleep. It would be nice to hear from anyone. I'm the Eminem of Diaryland. They read me but no one will admit to liking me. It's great to say what others are afraid to say. 0 Got Balls? |
- - 2009-07-07 Love Facebook - 2009-05-07 Retards Away! - 2009-02-16 Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28 My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07 |