It's 92 degrees and I have decided to bare arms as a result. Me in a sleevless t-shirt and my A&F shorts. Whoo! Am I a fashion accident just waiting to happen or what? Illinoisans are not used to this kind of heat. I know, I know. The Texans will pick on me but I'm really good about cold weather. Call me a polar bear if you must.

The interview? Looks good. Don't worry since I will still be on Diaryland for a bit longer. The job doesn't start til late in the summer or so. My only dilemma is waiting but I'll make it worthy by sprucing up my resume and continuing my work on the yard. I feel like a groundskeeper or something like that. My payment is gift certificates to bookstores.

Okay, Billy Madison said it best: "It's nudie magazine day! Nudie magazine day!" Well, if you must not know by now, Playboy came out today. It's considered a big special issue since Jenna and Heidi from Survivor are in it along with Carnie Wilson of Wilson Philips ("Hold On"). It's funny how this issue works. The Survivor girls barely make their pubes seen. All we get is one shot of Heidi's mohawk and a little bit of Jena's pink lips covered by a nice row of dark pubic hair. However, Carnie bares all.

I'm not sure if I would call Carnie a survivor in her weight battles. She kind of took the easy way out by getting her stomach stapled and doing cosmetic surgery on herself. Yes, it does make her a lot different than that beached whale that used to sing in the Wilson Philips group. C'mon, Jena and Heidi! Guys wanna see some "landing strips" or "lips." Breasts are boring.

The Surpreme Court okay'd the right for libraries to install porn filters in their computers. Fine by me. I got sick of waiting to use a computer at the library once since some guys were going through page after page of "Black Booty." Ugh. It's funny to look at the names of webpages to see what titles are given. Some people go to the library to look for actual information and not for household tips from porn stars (they do have some good ideas though).

Today is my mom's first actual workout. Yesterday, they measured her and gave her an interview. Weird. When I joined the gym, they made me use machines. The guy that worked with me was surprised at how I started since I'd been lifting weights at home long before I joined my old fancy schmancy gym as a junior in high school. The only nice thing about it was the locker room! Bloody huge!

Someone found my diary under the mentioning of Lapdancer, that book on stripping. Cool! I'd give my okay on the book since it is brutally honest in what a stripper goes through. Many of the things I experienced in one night of mayhem. Others were things I had never seen.

For instance, I was given 2 lapdances even though I insisted on not receiving them. The strippers were relentless! The boys paid them so the next thing you know 2 girls are riding me when all I wanna do is see where Bald-O went. The first one was clearly not my type. The second one was quite pretty but I just wasn't into it at all. Yes, these girls were nude. My shorts kind of smelled different afterwards. *shhh. My mom doesn't know I got a lapdance but she knows I had my clothes off with that very special stripper in my heart*

The difference is, that in Lapdancer, the stripper is to put a towel on the guy's crotch so that she doesn't leave a wet-spot along with him cumming on her. I don't don't mind girly-juices as long as I know the girl.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07