He does more push-ups by 9am than most people do all year. Not only is he very physically strong but he fights for all people's sexual freedom over land and air. Hedgehoggy, a real American Hero!

Sorry. I'm just in a weird mood right now. Most of my day has been spent outside trimming the bushes on the side of the house. I like to keep busy here and there so I just thought it would be a good idea to get some sun while I could. Guess what. It's now raining as I type this while sweat is pouring down my face. Whoo! Hot one out there.

Since the big Bald-O Bash is on the 4th, I had to go get a disposable camera at Wal-Mart. As always, I dread going there. As always, I see an enormous lady on a scooter that can barely hold her. I'm not always disgusted. My weaknesses are watching child birth, giving blood (I faint every time), and a few other things I will get into one day.

How can a person let themselves go like that!?! I'm talking about a guy/girl eating til they get to around 350 pounds and then having to get around on a scooter that goes about 10mph. Did they just sit around and say, "I'm gonna watch Oprah til I drop." or "I really wanna see how big I can shit." It doesn't make sense at all.

I'm not for this bullshit in making the obese as "handicapped." That aint shit. Real handicaps are those that cannot be helped like deafness, cripples, and dwarfism. People that just sit around and eat are just some of the biggest morons in the world. Only around 2% of obesity is not able to be helped. The world is around 65% obese now. That's just disgusting!

I'm not making fun of obese people. All I am saying is what should be said. It's almost the same with these pill poppers that take them to releive heart burn. Wanna know how you got heartburn, tubby? All that eating!

My own diet is not necessarily the most strict. I've been known to eat 8 cheeseburgers (did it last summer) but I have a metabolism that I controlled. I earned it by working out and making my workout the toughest you'll ever find in the gym. Not many can keep up with me since I rarely stop. All I do is eat a lot of chicken, fish, and drink a lot of water. Sound dull? Not really. I'm just not too keen on putting food laiden with unknown things into my system.

One of the reasons I typing right now is that Mom and I were about to have a blowup in the kitchen. She kept asking me this morning what I wanted from the grocery store while I was outside. I told my mom that I wanted pita bread 3 times. Did she remember? No. Bloody hell!

Well, the rain has now stopped so I am going to go back outside to finish up in trimming the bush.

Hedgehoggy: "Guess what, folks! We're gonna go deep into a talk about sex!"

Audience: (several old ladies faint)

Hedgehoggy: "Yes, I think it is time to bring up a story from my Dorm Tales category. We're gonna talk about cum. (More than 75% of Hedgehoggy's audience is suddenly lying on the ground) Don't worry, folks. It'll be fun and maybe we'll learn a thing or two about how to wake up The Hedgehoggy in the morning while he has a massive boner thanks to his Magic Penis."

Audience: "YAY!"

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07