Well, the reason I am telling you this is that I just had to get the new Teen People. *I also got the new Fangoria for the horror buff in me to masculinize me out* Don't laugh but there is a picture of a reporter visiting Brad Pitt's downstairs area. OMG! Brad has one of the coolest looking places I've ever seen! There are all kinds of things in this room, from books to momentos. I'm betting Brad has amazing taste since I just have a feeling from looking at them. That's my kind of room!

We all know what I have. In case you have forgotten, there are over 650 DVDs and hundreds of books lining the shelves in the storage room next door to my personal room. I've read some great classics. Let's see........A Seperate Place, Taming Of the Shrew (my fave Shakespeare book that got my English teacher to love me for my explanation-no Cliff Notes), The Great Gatsby, Catcher In the Rye (I didn't realize the narrator was in a mental institution!), Romeo and Juliet (it's......okay), Jaws, and many more.

The DVDs consist of mostly horror movies and drama. There is a fair amount of comedy in there but I prefer the good ol' classics like Friday the 13th that I grew up on. I've always loved Jason over Freddy. Wanna know some? Hmmmmm....I have all the Friday the 13ths, Nightmare On Elm Streets, The Ring, Ginger Snaps, Lord Of the Rings set, and so many more that I am drawing a blank. What really sets me apart from other people's collections is I have a lot of obscure stuff. I don't know anyone that has the kinkiness of Caligula (X-Rated and interesting to see at least once) or girls gone bad in Baise-Moi ("Rape Me"). I dare you to see this woman put a .38 up this guy's ass and fire.

So, where was I? Ahhhhhh......Bald-O's. I hadn't seen that bastard for 3 weeks. We always have huge smiles on our faces when we first see each other. There's something about having a college friend that knows things in your past. It's funny how Bald-O didn't meet all the girls I slept with since I'm pretty private. He does know a lot of my embarassing moments, though, and never lets me forget them.

Since it was the day before July 4th, it was busy. Bald-O's mom was making quite a bit of things such as potato salad, cheese rice with broccoli (yummy!), and some things I have no idea what they were. Mom loves it when I come over because that means more gossip and my amazing four letter vocabulary comes out.

The bad thing over the 4th weekend was that the parents were around a bit more on that 40 acres. Bald-O doesn't like to drink in front of his parents so drinking was at an all time low down there. That's saying a lot since after doing so and talking til 2am last time, I passed out easily. It could have been the fact that we were watching The Cosby Show.

I got to meet a few new relatives in Bald-O's southern family. I'm not sure if it's the way I talk or what comes out but I sure do get a lot of pats on the back. Big guys telling me to join them in the lineup of food gathering. These guys can eat!!!! I'm just a city boy with the trimmest tummy there. Aw hell, I put on a few extra helpings of barbeque.

Rob's girlfriend has 2 kids (not by Rob). One of them was there this time since the little girl was sick. This kid had me fascinated since I had never seen one with the problems he had. There was the fact that he talked to himself. All kids talk to themselves but this was a different and sad kind. The other was a very large case of ADD. You could talk to him and then his mind would be elswhere all of a sudden. It's sad and the doctors have no idea what it is.

It was great seeing $100 worth of fireworks being let off over the pond. What made it even better was Pickles. Pickles is Bald-O's little brother's girlfriend's tiny Yorkie. Got that? It barely weighs 2 pounds. I've never seen a Yorkshire Terrier that small before but I loved her. Unfortunately, Pickles had to be put into the RV planted on the land while the fireworks go off. Yorkies do not like fireworks or thunder. That would explain why mine go under the bed.

Aren't drunken phone calls fun? Well, after watching How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days thanks to Crystal insisting we watch that piece of shit movie, we were a bit drunk. It was late and once Mark and Crystal left, I started talking to Bald-O about something the movie mentioned. "Guys hate it when you call them up constantly and talk about stupid things like what you had for dinner."

A light bulb popped up in my dim head. Let's call up friends and tell them what we had for dinner at 1am in the morning! After Bald-O did his impressions that caused me to laugh so hard I cried a lot, I had to do the calling. No problem. When I've had a bit too much to drink, I love to chat anyway. We called Berta, Dave, and a few other people. Since they weren't home, I just left a really odd drunken message on their answering machines. "I just had HOMEMADE PIZZA, 14 BeERs, WaTChinG TV........" Yes, there was a lot of giggling.

When I called Amanda, she answered. I couldn't do my amazing drunken expression so I ended up giggling in the middle of explaining how many beers I had. It was funny how quiet Amanda was since she is NEVER quiet during phone calls. Since the caller ID told her it was Bald-O, she called back and wondered why "a drunken Mike called on Bald-O's cell." It was nice to see him explain away that one. Amanda loves us and expects us to make fools of ourselves, especially me. That's why she knows my giggles.

Never mess with a mom that has to poo. At 9am, I thought the sound of Bald-O's mom knocking on the door was a woodpecker in the area. There's a lot of trees around so why not? Well, soon knocking gets to pounding and I, with a groggy walk, open the door to Bald-O's mom nearly knocking me down running to the bathroom to poo. You should have heard the door slam! When women have to go, they go. Guys that I know bring "reading material" such as Sports Illustrated and Playboy.

The night before Bald-O and I saw Hook. It's a nice little fantasy flick in which Robin Williams is Peter Pan. Yeah, I know it's an oldy but I haven't seen it for a long time and I have to admit that it is enjoyable. Keep that inner kid going and don't forget your childhood. It's also most likely the only movie with Julia Roberts that I like other than Pretty Woman (I fell in love with that movie!). Don't tell anyone.

There wasn't as much time to goof off on this amazing area of land. No motorcycle riding. We did play a game of "Washer." It's where you take metal holes and try to get them in a box, sort of like "horseshoes." Out of all the games we played of this, Mark never lost. I've come close only once since that bastard gets all the high points at least twice.

Now, I am telling you the truth. Bald-O has a mouse living with him. He doesn't believe me but a little gray one came out during the movie Hook that I swear was one. I find them to be cute and wouldn't want to hurt it. Unfortunately, there are now a bunch of traps in Bald-O's trailer. Didn't believe me, huh?

Well, I must now be off to deal with a spider bite on my left foot. It's huge and itches pretty bad. Don't worry for me. I'll be back for more sometime later on if I feel up to it. Wonder what kind of spider bit me. It's kind of weird to think that since most people would be more interested in killing it after finding it. Not me. I love all creatures.......except......oh,......flies, ants, wasps, and nats.

- - 2009-07-07

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My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07