It's an "I'm talking and I can't shut up day," okay? That's what I did all fucking day is talk too much. Let's start with the beginning.

Leah, my stylist called me up since I missed my haircut appointment. Damn thing slipped my looped out mind even though I had set it up on Sunday afternoon. The great thing is that Leah loves having me there since I always bring good gossip. For the life of me, I still don't know how the topic got into strippers since she is a good Christian woman. Get this! Leah is once again insisting that I could be a stripper. Why? "You've got that......"V" look, Mike. Just look at those forearms (she was staring at them when I stood there chatting with her)." Does anyone else want me to shake what my momma gave me as well. I aint just talking about these cute little buns.

Oh, speaking of nice asses, I noticed in the picture of me doing a beer bong at Mark's that I have a dandy little derriere! It felt weird to notice how wonderfully small this little muscular rump looked in jeans as I was getting "bonged." Hell, my body looked good as my head was tilted up to receive my necessary fluids of beer. I'm gonna show this one to my mom so that I can thank her for what she gave me. All that gym work and genes pays off!

And now back to our regularly schedual programs..........

After receiving my monthly haircut, Leah introduced me to her new additions to the family, two black kittens. Cute. These kittens weren't so crazy when held. Instead, they just lay in my arms of steel. *Editor: You are really pushing this machismo shit too far, Mike* I don't remember the names of these kittens but you can bet I will expect a visit from them next month. I'm not insanely crazy about cats but lazy quiet ones get my attention.

Wanna know about our idiotic Yorkies? Well, Bonnie was outside doing her usual doggy shit of telling the neighbors what she's gonna have for dinner or how the PMS thing isn't working for her. My mom kept an eye on her since we have to make sure the little ones don't eat the shit on the deck.

My mom found it funny that Bonnie was really eyeing pile of "shit" at one point while she was outside. Suddenly the "pile" hopped! It was a toad that had gotten on our deck. I like frogs and toads so I'm unhappy that I missed this. My mom joked that Bonnie's prince had come and she'd soon want Clyde to hit the road. I wouldn't be surprised. Bonnie's a pretty much a prissy bitch.

My doctor's appointment was almost missed. With 40 minutes to spare, I suddenly remembered. You see, I fell asleep on my bed while thinking about my scrapbook (I'll get into that later). I had to put in my contacts and look for change to pay the parking.

Lucky me. The cutest assistant selected me to work with. Yup. Lynn's her name and it's cute how shy she once was of me. Now we talk like old friends. What's wrong with me you ask? A huge buildup of earwax is going on in my left ear after the infection I mentioned a while back. Makes it itchy as hell. Do I need to tell you all that my finger has been in my ear a bit too much to relieve this annoyance? No? WELL, I HAD TO BECAUSE THE ITCHES DROVE ME INSANE!!!!!!!!!

So, Lynn and I finished with the procedure. The next thing you know we began talking about movies. Seems she saw 2 Fast 2 Furious. What's a Hedgehoggy to do? I teased her that she went to see this dumb flick for oggling of Paul Walker. To my surprise, Lynn went for the cars!!!! Wow! A girl that knows cars (I don't know shit about 'em) is pretty fascinating to know. I like to know girls that have an interest in all kinds of categories so this one is a new one. Lynn is now in my Cool Club.

So, what did I mean by "I couldn't shut up?" Well, let's see, I talked to Leah for a long time in which my haircut was almost an hour. Lynn and I chatted for a good 20 minutes AFTER I was done getting looked at. Then, I was in the gym tonight for 2 whole hours! I'm talking to EVERYBODY! I'm so fucking talkative it's like that time I smoked that whole blunt and talked straight to everyone for hours. Somebody stop me, please.

- - 2009-07-07

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