First of all, I am pissed at myself for missing Amazing Race last night. Once again, I talked a bit too much last night while working out. The little female side of me that loves to chat and gossip on who is doing steroids could not be shut up. I swear that I am trying to watch this show I hear so many reviews of. However, clowns do scare me.

If you know me, you know that I do not just like to sit on my fine hairless ass. So, I have been working on a format in my potential cover letter, putting together a shelf, laying on the foor to play with my dogs (Bonnie likes me to hold her chewie for her), cleaning out the old magazines underneath my bed. I just do not know how the latest Teen People got there. No clue.

Okay, I look all manly n' stuff but I suck with putting things together. The shelf is halfway done. By "halfway done," I mean that I have all the screws out and the nuts and bolts and all that shit I don't know for the life of me is. Forgive me but having a thick penis does not mean I know how to lug it around on occasion.

So, my dad, feeling sorry for his son, will come down to help later on. He just got back from work and needs a bit of rest. I'm still debating with myself as to how far I can screw up a shelf all on my own before my dad calls me a "complete moron" or telling me, "you need to stay in the kitchen more." Hey, at least, I try.

Here's how bad I am at times. I put together an entertainment center for myself. The only thing I did wrong is put the hinges on the outside. Go ahead and laugh at me but the damn things work. On my small bookshelf, the bottom is upside down. Nobody knows this but me.

When things get really bad, I just remember that in 2nd grade, I was the best damn gluer in there. Me and Elmer's Glue were great buddies, unlike my classmates spilling all over the place. Oh, I can honestly tell you that I've never tasted glue.

The never ending saga of dealing with a dog that needs pads continues.......

I have another spot of blood thanks to Bonnie being in heat. It's pretty big and on my Adidas shirt's lower right portion. This brings up a new problem. Clyde, the other Yorkie is gonna love me!

*stares at halfway done bookshelf and scratches head*

The storms are pretty bad down south. It's most likely that my mom and I will leave tomorrow morning bright and early. I've already packed my clothes, books, and scrapbook. I'm not sure if I will show my grandma or not the scrapbook. There is a small possibility that I can show her how to work a beer bong if she holds it.

To be truthful, I feel out of place ever since the trip has been rescheduled. It's like all my hopes have to be temporarily stalled. Dammit! I wanna run through the fresh green grasses in my grandma's backyard!

One thing that will be cool is seeing if my grandma's possibility of having alzheimer's is not there after all. It's scary since we want her to stay as healthy as possible. People with alzheimer's tend to forget to throw out rotting stuff like I pointed out at my last visit. 3 trash bags filled with the foulest smelling old food around had to be hauled out.

As weird as it sounds, I hope I get married within 10 years since I'm worried as to how long my grandma will be around. I want her to see little ol' me with a wife and starting my own life. My grandma, the one who pinches my cheeks and tells me when I'm being a shit, has to be there to see me.

All I'm doing now is holding onto a moment that is mine. Next week, we have the adventures of a boy in the scrapbook place hoping to win the interests of a cute little blonde girl. Just how far will I go to put my pride on the line? Am I worth a date or even a peck on the cheek? Will I ever stop thinking about what those girls in the past did to me? Is this a bad (but funny) episode of Blind Date just waiting to happen?

*Slaps head and then bangs it on computer*

- - 2009-07-07

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