So, to keep from a small amount of boredom, I visited the local mall. Wonderful place to visit if all you think about is style over substance. The books provided by Walden and B. Dalton are mostly what's cool. Classics have to be ordered. Foot Locker is for that moronic rap loving dipshit that spends over $300 for clothes but has no car. Victoria's Secret, which has some of the best posters of Giselle in a pair of white panties, always smells so sweet to walk by. It's always nice to have an extra bulge in my drawers.

So, what did I visit? First, I went to Foot Locker to see what the new Air Jordan Retros are as well as what's coming out later on. Nothing. The latest pairs of Retros are ugly, so very ugly. The guys that work at Foot Locker look so out of place with their receding hairlines and no likeness for knowledge of sports. Love the comb overs, guys!

One of my favorite places is Spencers. It's funny how I almost always find people over the age of 60 in there looking at underwear saying, "It's Fallen And It Can't Get Up" or "Over the Hill." One lady even looked at me as I found her looking at a pair of really kinky panties. My guess is that she was telling me that you're never too old to get laid. I wouldn't argue with her on that. My only counterpoint is that there is a time where old people really should consider the fact that they should stop driving. Avoiding crowded markets is so hard for them to NOT make an entrance.

One thing I really, really want at Spencer's is a Playboy throw for my bed. It's black and has a giant bunny symbol on it. Wow! If you've been reading this diary for a long time, then you know how much I love Playboy magazine. I admit there are a few things I disagree with but it's a magazing designed for greatness. There's also a pillow shaped into the bunny symbol to match the throw. Should I get these things? Hmmmmmm.....my birthday is coming up guys!

Let's see......what do I want for my birthday? So far, we have the new Girls Gone Wild set advertised late at night and now a Playboy throw. We'll check in later if I have more to add. Keep thinking of this wonderful Hedgehoggy in your life.

Oh, Sammy, if you are reading this, I saw the new TMNT sweatshirts at Hot Topic. They are HUGE, for all those fat girls and boys. You can wear one as a dress so get your ass down there! Leonardo is pictured on the left sleeve, I think.

Not much else to say about the mall. Ours is dead and dull. It's only 1 floor that's like a star. You go in different directions to reach certain areas. There is no fucking way you can get lost, unlike the one near my grandparents' area. That one is too much! 2 Floors that go into so many different directions can make you feel so small. Oh, the strippers can be found at Frederick's since they so discretely put the store in the corner area. They like to shop without guys knowing beforehand what panties they will wear at work.

Watching MTV for a short while had me fuming. Here was 50 Cent and Snoop talking about pimping. The song's called P.I.M.P. It's about as interesting as watching a commercial for "4 Wall Protection." I think you know what I'm talkin about.........

A better mood gathered when Liz Phair's "Why Can't I" came on. Love the retro look of the video as well as Liz herself. She's so fucking hot as hell. Love that little mouth of hers. Did you know the song on her new album called "H.W.C." stood for "Hot White Cum?" Well, isn't she a hot one to have? Liz is definitely someone to think about eating out. Yummy!

Steroids. In my gym last night, Jeff and I got into a short debate as to who's on them. There is one guy we are certain of since he shows the signs. I can't get into specifics but trust me on this. The other one is this guy who used to have just a bit of muscle and now is stacked completely huge. It's not the bigness that gives it away since anyone can get big. What gives it away is how toned he is as a result. The other factor is his wife, whom is pretty chunky. If she can't stop eating the sweets, there has got to be a factor of this guy not being able to as well. It's complicated. Only those that are hardcore in the gym understand this.

I've gotta get ready to pack even though it doesn't look like we'll leave anytime soon. Good news is that I saw Frank, my horny groundhog that started a family last summer. The fat fuck was sitting there munching and watching traffic. I've got to get a picture of Frank someday since I need a rodent that really understands me.

- - 2009-07-07

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