Feathers on my breath"

Well, I should be leaving tomorrow morning early. Nothing seems to point to bad weather so said the weatherman. I hope. I've gotta talk to Bald-O about issues in life once again.

I'm gonna be honest. It's odd asking out a girl. In fact, it can downright send chills down my spine in some ways. Why? I mean, look at me! I can bench close to 300lbs. and can handle myself in a fight pretty well. If I do lose an actual fight, you can bet the other person is pretty mangled up as a result of wanting to tango with me.

Now you are probably going to ask, "Well, you've fucked more than 5 girls, Mike!" That's the interesting part. Those girls came on to me. In fact, every fucking summer is spent being hit on by someone. Let's see......a girl at Hardees put a little something extra in my orders, 8 girls asked me to prom in my senior year, and so on.

What could a guy like me do with such beauty at my age? I'm one of those guys that can talk so well to anybody since I can relate in so many ways. It makes people feel warm around me and as a result, I've experienced a lot in my time with girls. That and the fact that I have this body that gets some attention is another big reason. Don't tell me girls don't appreciate the male adonis?

*Laughs really hard*

So, you wanna know exactly how I ended up with all the girls I've talked about? Well, here goes........

Veronica was my first kiss. This was at 8 or 9 years of age by the way. This girl kicked me in the ribs while we played her team in a park disctrict soccer game. I was down on the ground so Veronica just wanted to say she liked me. Girls sure are weird at that age, huh? Just look for the story on my first kiss somewhere in my archives......I guess this is where I got attracted to assertive women.

Beth, my high school sweetheart was someone I met through a friend, Amy. She just intrduced us and away Beth and I went. Prom was fun with her as well as Beth being the first girl I ever touched. I miss her at times because she could argue like no other when the both of us were acting like fools on a hot summer night. Beth was busy with tennis while I was out playing football. We just parted ways later on.

We all know Kristan, my virginity taker. *Audience: Yeah! Kinky! We likes!!!* Now, that woman came onto me in a big way by kissing me deeply before I left her house at around 3am. Loved her with all those late night conversations. It didn't take much for Kristan and I to end up in bed together and having sex so many times. She was also the one girl I know I fell in love with truly.

There is a gap here during my college days since I went out with some girls I don't remember. Alcohol does that to you, folks. It makes all the bad stuff go away at times. I remember A and her roommate taking advantage of me. We all remember our first threesomes but not me.

When I first met Jen, it was in the elevator with Mark and Rob. Those two dipshits came to visit Bald-O so we had to go and get fucked up in the bars. the three of us were heading back out when I noticed this cute girl in the elevator. "Doooooo you wanna DRINK soooooome beer with Us?" came out of my mouth. Jen laughed and pointed at her pajamas. Nope. The next night I come across her at her dorm room. "Sleep with me" came out of her mouth. How could I say no? I SHOULD HAVE SAID NO SINCE THAT GIRL FUCKED UP MY YEAR!!!! Well, I am to blame as well so there is that issue.

These are the main girls in my past. Of course, there are others. Don't make me start having bad memories again. Mike not want to be mad. Mike try to live happy ever after.

*Stops thinking "What would Hulk say?"*

There is one love that I miss. Of course, those of you that have read me for about a year know who it is. The PenDragon will forever be embedded in my mind. She's everything I ever wanted and more. I love it how PenDragon challenged my mind and fascinated me with a new lifestyle, witchcraft. I have a very open mind so I love to see new things!

Alas, PenDragon is too far away. Oh, how I miss her so much that I just don't think she knows how much she means to me. Yes, I keep in touch with PenDragon as much as I can so it's now grown into an amazing friendship. It was nice to be kissed on New Year's. Where were you?

I've made plenty of amusing mistakes. My roommates love to watch me do things that have them talking. One time in a bar at the last portion of the bar crawl, a redhead came up to me. Yes, she was definitely hitting on me. My boys decided to watch a drunken Hedgehoggy talk with this redhead in the most sloppy of words. You'd think that the boys would stop me or at least help me out but......nooooooooo. It's fun to watch me play in traffic.

How can it be so difficult to ask a girl out? I mean, I was the one willing to dress up as Britney Spears at Bald-O's 21st birthday bash. Yeah, me in a school girl outfit, pig tails, and a a black bra. That's right! Picture me coming out of the rooms singing "Baby, One More Time" in that outfit while a drunken Bald-O is sitting on a chair blindfolded. The only problem is that we couldn't find the right size in clothes. Seen my shoulders? Now you understand.

Another issue with me is how do you trust someone you don't even know? Dating complete strangers is odd to me. That's why I've always liked friends first so I know what kind of person this girl is. I admit that this concept doesn't quite work but one day it will, dammit! It's not coming up with things to say in conversation. Gawd, I can talk! It's just the trust issue. I'd try to make her feel as safe as possible.

It would be so much easier if girls in relationships had rings to signify this. I'm not saying they should be "branded" but knowing that someone is with someone makes it a bit easier in telling if the girl is off limits. Hell, I will wear a Claudagh ring to signify this. Unfortunately, too many other people wear them. I like my things to be unique or a bit different.

*I smell so good after that long scorching bath that everyone reading this should smell me*

How do relationships start anyway? Have you ever asked yourself how you met your significant other? I mean, I think what I've been through is a bunch of "accidents." Call it what you want but that's the way I look at them. Each girl I've been with has taught me something new to add to my never ending need to meet people.

The big issue in my past relationships is my need to be me. I love to do so many things since my mind is all over the place. There are so many things that fascinate me that it can be a bit chaotic knowing me. Music, movies, books, history, politics, complex questions all mean something to me. More and more people I meet are into 1 or 2 things. I've gotta have the chaos, baby!

So, how am I going to handle all this with meeting the "Scrapbook girl" again? I'm going to do it somehow. Don't ask me how since I'm just gonna wing it!

*Audience gasps!*

- - 2009-07-07

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