I know it might sound materialistic but hear me out. I've always loved the Air Jordan shoe line. Although not all of them looked good, most had a feel that not many shoes had. Since breaking my right foot in baseball practice long ago, comfort is a must. Air Jordans always provided my sensitive feet with that.

Some people I know think the Air Jordan shoes are ugly. Yes, some are so bad that I cannot stand to look at them. Others I wonder why anyone would pay over $100 for. A bit steep, no?

Alas, I need new shoes thanks to a pair of Air Jordans I love are showing wear and tear. The bottom portion is pretty much receded and my backup pair of white ones is pretty bad as well. White shoes are so sensitive to dirt and grime.

The Saga begins once again..........

Bald-O's was a blast once again. This time there was more beer drinking than I was used to. The cans piled up and the conversations got worse, far worse. Why is it that alcohol brings out the best kind? Why can't all of them be as interesting after 10 beers? Why are most of my thoughts more........inspirational?

Bald-O told me that he and I are living the life. This involves the 3 B's: beer, broads, and buffets. Now, I admit that one is missing in this category but I'm working on it. Trust me.

Why do "buffets" have to be in our 3 B's? Well, Bald-O got me into them. Normally, I am not a big eater since I am quite picky and I like staying as trim as I am now. Let me tell ya. When you go down south, expect a buffet, baby. It's where all the action is!

I went to 3 buffets down south. The first one is the chain, Ryans. The second was Jade Dragon and the third was an Italian pizza place. I've NEVER had so much food as I had during these 3 days. Ever. I had 4 plates at Ryan's, 4 plates at Jade Dragon's, and 5 plates of pizza at the Italian one PLUS 2 cheesesticks. The funny thing was that I was not even full til later on in the days. Oh, I also had 2 double cheeseburgers from McDonalds. Yikes.

So, boys like to pick on each other, right? Bald-O had me weigh myself. Not one pound gained! I know how the body works so I've stopped thinking of buffets now. It's tough since I love macaroni and cheese at Ryans. Who knows if I will ever do what I did over the week again.

Went to the movie theater again down south. It's nice being in a tiny little theater where everyone knows pretty much everyone. Odd since ours is huge and people from towns all over come here. This time it was to see Tomb Raider 2. It had its moments but nothing in the well thought out category. I've always admired Alexander the Great but even he has little to do with it. Angelina, as always, was fabulous. It's amazing how nipples can pop up in odd places throughout adventures. The Petrified Forest segment was interesting as well.

Okay, here is how Bald-O thinks women should be seduced. I'm giving it in his words that I can barely remember since I was too busy laughing at how dumb it is.

"Mike, when you get a girl in bed, hope that she lays on her side. That way, you can place your hand on her tummy. Why? You see, you then get 2 choices if she doesn't take your hand away. You can either then move it up to play with her tits or move it down to play with her pussy. It's all good!"

Now, the reason Bald-O stated this is because his ex stayed over some months ago. It was late so she slept in his bed. Bald-O, looking for action, decided to try and make a move. "Wet Spot" (my nickname for the ex) took his hand off her stomach and said, "You're drunk." Bald-O, as any desperate guy would do, said, "AW C'MON! WHY NOT!?!"

When the last line came out, I mimicked Bald-O so well that the two of us were pretty much laughing at how pathetic his "Art Of Seduction" was. I'm a bit smoother but even that isn't saying much. It's just been a while that Bald-O and I have most likely lost our touch at seducing. Maybe the two of us need help.

*Nahhhhhhh*

Ever hate seeing horrible sights? Well, after the booze cruise where I ended up washing Bald-O's SUV, Rob stayed in the trailer with us. He passed out on the couch around 10:30pm. When Rob suddenly turned, there was his enormous ass while wearing dark underwear with all sorts of holes in them. Bald-O and I did a play by play on what just happened.

"Ohmygawd! Would you look at his butt! It is so big! He looks like one of those rap girl's boyfriends. They only talk to him. He looks like a total prositute."

Rob, completely asleep, was amusing to talk about. Bald-O and I wondered how his girlfriend was letting him get away with wearing underwear with quite a few holes. None of our ex's let us get away with such things. Ever. K, J, M, and so on always made sure I wore Calvins without holes so when I did my Marky Mark impression, I looked good........I guess.

One of the good things about going to Bald-O's is his satellite dish TV. It's got about 150 channels. So, one morning I woke up to find The Rachel Papers playing. This reminded me that I should read the book since I had forgotten about it a long time ago. Sitting there and being absorbed into the movie, Bald-O gets up. The next thing you know, he looks at me and says, "Mike, you are watching the fucking Woman's Channel." I didn't care since I was loving Mr. Pryce's acting as the deranged uncle. So what if it's on a channel devoted to women. I watch anything with substance.

This entry's pretty long so I am outta here for now. I love the quiet today. No beer runs, holes in underwear, or obscene farting followed with giggles. Life is good at this time since I am also smelling good and eating much better. All this is driving me insane!!!!!!!

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07