Well, I see people find my diary all over the place! I'm looked up under "tampons" and so many weird quotes people put under Google searches. Guess the kinky people really like me! Shame, shame, and what are your names!?!

Somebody give this boy a high five! I've got new shoes!!!!!!! They were on sale for the low price of $60. I so needed them since my white Air Jordans are in dire need of being retired into the back of my closet. Anway, the new shoes are old school Nike Air's that look a bit like the first pair of Air Jordans ever made. Very nice indeed with light blue trim on the Nike symbol. Love the high tops, baby!

To top it all off, I even got that Jack Daniels throw I've been bitching about. It looks nice on my chair and even lowers the noise of my weights hitting the wooden parts after a heavy lift. You see, I watch a little TV and do my shoulders at the same time to keep the feeling of doing nothing out of me. Just sitting there staring at a TV makes me feel kind of weird....a bit like a zombie.

*"Send more brains (my best mocking of Return Of the Living Dead's zombies)"*

I'm slowly finding myself back in style. Just give me time and I'll be back with a new look of retro at its best. I so love my baggy jeans even though they all have holes in them. I even have one in the crotch area for those of you that wonder what color Calvins I'm wearing. My preferences are gray, white, and black. I've had striped before but they got ripped. I'll leave that to your imaginations.......

Oh, I spilled yogurt on my shorts today. No big deal? Well, this little splotch is now located directly on the crotch so it makes it look like I had a "spill" in my orange shorts. Not cool. A guy should never lose his load in only 15 seconds of eating yogurt.

Who watches Road Rules? This show is as much fun as knowing I have a "spot" on my shorts. Instead of me being able to see the finale of Surf Girls, I am subjected to a fatass named Donell (sp?) in a g-string. I was lucky enough to have woken up to see the last 15 minutes of Surf Girls's finale this morning. Jen won!!!!!! I've loved her since I first laid eyes on her. I'm happy that she might get a break from all this. Isn't it weird feeling for someone you don't know personally?

So, a nice day with rain. I did get up on time this morning. No aggressive women chasing me with throwing stars this time. Nope. Don't know what I dreamt this morning. All I know is I wanted to read the Sunday Paper and eat scrambled eggs. I'm a simple type of guy.

I've been thinking about something I did last year. I wrote my advice to those going to college for the first time. Some of me misses it and I've got a lot of advice since I've lived in the dorms and apartments. Let's just say I've seen it all thanks to living in a coed dorm. All those girls' beds so warm.......*slaps head*....means I'll offer a huge amount of advice that your mothers probably haven't talked to you about. Yes, I'll tell you what really goes on when people stop being polite and getting real. You'll all be welcome to know what I learned about girls as well. *snickers* I know all your secrets, ladies. *evil laughter*

So, with that in mind, I will leave you for now. Let me work on my advice for freshman in college and deal with daily bullshit. Oh, Cubs game is on! Gotta go!

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07