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| Even though I don't think it was, the day has ended of my body thinking I did a lot today. Not really. Mostly, I just figured out my expenses for this month and calculated all that I need to deal with. It's tough to be frugal when you are so into decorating a room all the time. Must stop watching MTV Cribs. It's a nasty vice of a show....... The only highlight of the day was holding a baby praying mantis. Now, these are odd looking insects but I have a respect for them. For one thing, I'm not on their menu. Praying mantis's have this look that makes me stop and observe. Of course, we all know the females eat the males, starting with head first during copulation. Oh, I'm sorry. This is Diaryland so I meant to say "fucking." Anyway, the little praying mantis made a run for it but eventually I held it. It was pretty tiny so I was lucky to catch sight of it when it appeared on the doghouse. Then, I let it scurry around on my arm before setting it in the grass. Beware, bugs! I've seen the enemy and it will be upon you! Why is it so hard to throw away underwear? I mean, guys have the damnest time pitching away some with holes in them. I told you about Rob, Bald-O's older brother, whom slept on the couch exposing all the holes in which the rim barely hung on in not exposing his big hairy ass. Of course, there was the big play by play from me...... "Ohmygawd. Would you look at his butt. It is so big. He looks like one of those rap girls' boyfriends or something. They only talk to him. He looks like a total prostitute...." My dilemma is this: soon I will have to get rid of a couple pairs of Calvins. I knew it was coming up and I mentioned it in the past. No guy wants to part with drawers that have saved him in situations. Mine kept my balls all snug while running through parking lots to avoid little old ladies driving like madwomen. Of course, my cute little hairless ass needed to be padded while sitting in seats during college courses. Then there were the little commercial breaks of me in my Calvins doing Marky Mark impressions. Don't forget about how I sat on something sharp and......uh...."spotted" them once. Those were the days, huh? You see, there is a pair that were berry berry good to me. Now, this pair of Calvins has a humongous hole in the ass area that makes it look like I farted and blew out a portion. People would look at me and say, "Wow! You were at Taco Bell?" It's funny about men's underwear in the fact that we can be asked, "Boxers or briefs?" You see, men cannot just go up to a completely unknown woman and ask, "Thongs or bikini panties?" It's sexist! I'd love to go up to a really pretty girl and ask her. Girls have it so easy in that they can go up to guys and ask this moronic question. Try it! See how guys react! The point to this moronic entry is that I will be placing my worn out underpants in the trash soon. It will be a completely amusing time to play some appropriate tunes such as AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" or Kiss's "Love Gun." Of course, my undies protected the ol' Love Gun and shook me all night long at times. Well, I must stop this entry before I get any worse in saying completely stupid things. I mean, who in their right minds talks about undperpants? 0 Got Balls? |
- - 2009-07-07 Love Facebook - 2009-05-07 Retards Away! - 2009-02-16 Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28 My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07 |