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| I'm slowly feeling better. It's not easy being me when all comes crashing at one time. This week seemed to be like everything was against me. Oh, I got a little break here and there but what little happiness was gone quickly. Now for once, I am calm. For some reason, I felt so good while in the midst of working on my room here and there. I just couldn't fucking stop! I'd take the Gamecube games and arrange them the way I wanted them, to make the inside of the furniture look nicer. Then, I'd get rid of the dust off a system or two. And finally, I'd collapse in a fit of exhaustion. But I got lucky...... While sitting there, in my state of tiredness, CNN was showing a segment on gymnastics and the injuries that occur with it. I've always loved watching gymnastics so my depression was temporarily displaced (and slowly receded without me knowing). To see what I admire made me feel quite a bit better. The really strange thing is I suddenly had this HUGE energy jolt and did 100 push-ups without stopping! So, I'm feeling a bit better. I'm trying to put away all the things causing headaches out of my mind for now. I've now got to get new tires on my car thanks to them going bald as well as have them aligned. Ugh. The good news is that I don't know the price so I'll not dwell on all this yet. I'd like to pay for all this myself. This whole issue is a long one in dealing with my dad. I'm not one to whine so I won't get all into it. My way of growing up was around my mother, which makes me very protective of her. There are times I wish I was knew more about being a man. All I can say is that someday I will stop feeling like a little boy around my dad. It's hard for me because I keep things inside so often. My real friends live over 2 hours away so I'm stuck in a big town to conceal all my pain. Makes me tough? Nah. Just boils things up. Remember when I told about how I went to the gym and didn't talk to people? It took me a while to let out myself to others but I did it. Who knows how long it will take for me to deal with the other issues that weigh me down. Just a matter of time. I miss the old me, a true free spirit in love with the world. Bald-O knows how moody I get. He knows that you just have to let me be for a time period. The next thing you know, I'm back. Some people don't know depression. It's a good thing that I am going south this weekend. I need to hang with a person that knows me well. Someday, I will have to open myself a bit more to someone here in my town. MR is NOT someone I wish to speak to much at all. I'm clearly uncomfortable around him. Today? I finished cleaning out my car. It was a mess! Next, I will sweep out my dad's truck to get the money owed to me. Earlier, I had to get new weight lifting gloves thanks to the old ones being pretty torn up. Nasty! I'm not even sure if these new ones will work for me since I need them ultra tough. If you've ever seen me work out, then you know what I'm about. Well, I'm bored out of my mind. It's just temporary since I've got a few things I need to do later. I'll try to be back later on. 0 Got Balls? |
- - 2009-07-07 Love Facebook - 2009-05-07 Retards Away! - 2009-02-16 Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28 My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07 |