Well, I've got 12 of them

and a case of hand grenades!"

For those of you that have sane parents, you should feel so lucky. My mother and I did the usual weekly grocery trip to which I was subjected to her yelling about how she forgot a few things. Even the girl in the car looked at us funny as I sat there taking my mom's yelling. It hasn't been the greatest of days once again. Just look outside to the gloom in that rain will be here soon.

Let's face it. I don't have much self confidence thanks to some of the things my parents do. My dad spends most of his time on the computer downloading movies. My mom is obviously depressed since all she does is complain and clean (I'm not kidding). Last but not least is my little brother whom sits on his ass watching TV.

So, for some reason, all of this has started bugging me. My birthday was not too long ago and I never heard one "Happy birthday" out of my family members. Oh, there was a card with money but nothing else. However, my little brother did nothing. There have been complaints about "time" and all this bullshit but he is watching TV, as he has done for the last 2 hours. Sad.

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure my parents love me but they sure do have a weird way of showing it. I've always envied my friends in how their parents seem so happy to see them come home or whatever. What I usually get is a shrug of shoulders.

With all my self confidence issues, I even wonder why people read my diary. I may sound like I am full of myself but the reality is that I feel like I have grown bitter thanks to experiences. No longer do I wish to put up with ignorant people and I tend to avoid them like the plague.

You see, my life once offered me tons of new opportunities in which I was the happiest kid around. Of course, I was young and didn't quite know what I was doing. Now, I feel like I've seen too much and don't want as much of a part of the world's offerings.

I don't quite know how to put what I am saying so I am laying off on this topic for now. Just be glad you have parents that don't take out their issues on you. Oh, how I envy thee!

Even with all the yelling, grocery shopping can bring surprises like the fact that I saw Amy. I miss her since she doesn't seem to go to my gym anymore. The best description I can give of Amy is that she has the smile of a Cheshire Cat (Alice In Wonderland). Of course, she was happy to see me as well knowing full well the two of us used to get into goofy discussions while others were grunting and straining to weights.

I feel sorry for those Wal-Mart greeters. If I had to do that, I'd most likely give people "the finger" or grunt (my way of saying "Welcome to redneck heaven").

Don't call me mean thanks to the fact that I will speak my mind. I was just in Wal-Mart to get my mom's pictures developed (1 of the things I was yelled at about) and ended up helping an older man with a heavy object to be placed in his cart. It was nice because it felt good to help in which he even said "thank you very much." That's not something I will forget.

I've been thinking about why I speak my mind and say things many are afraid to say. It's probably because I consider myself dead. Too many things have gone wrong at times and I've just had enough. Don't want to know me? Fuck off. Don't want to be nice? Well, I aint putting up with you. Force me to join your religious preference? Hell, no! It's good to be independent now since I no longer want to be a part of the norm.

All of my changes could be a sign of how my wardrobe is slowly changing as well. My black leather jacket, torn jeans, and scowl are what's presented. Oh, I still get goofy, just a little more cautious.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07