First of all, I'm sorry for making an entry so late. I made good on my errands in what I needed to do so I was a bit busy. That's the way I like things since I don't like to sit around. Unfortunately, the busy parts were also included in what was on TV today. I haven't watched this much TV since.....oh, I have no fucking idea!

Yeah, I got my car washed and it's fabulously back to maroon. I've found new scratches most likely formed by someone's cat sleeping on the top of my car at one time or another. It's amazing what you find all while cleaning up things.

While hunched over in the sun, I noticed all these little shadows flying around me. Ladybugs are slowly trying to take over the world!!! The little bastards have the nerve to be fucking freeloaders in me having to take them to bookstores and other places. It was amusing to watch ladybugs fly around me as I used the sponge on my car.

I was tempted so I did what I normally wouldn't do. Yeah, I squirted one ladybug with the hose and watched it battle the water once it landed on the driveway. Anything to fuck with it's mind is fun.

Ladybug: "But I thought the weatherperson said no rain today! Lying sack of shit!"

Of course, I also did my push-ups, all 400 of them. I know I said I'd do 300 but I just went with a bunch more during the Cubs game to pass the time. As a result, my palms are a bit de-skinned. No pain but annoying nonetheless.

Look, I know the Cubs lost and I predicted it. The Marlins were most likely going to kill the Cubs pitcher and the Cubs were facing a guy that can pitch in the 3 digits category. Odds were very much against 'em. However, Tuesday night will be the night the Cubs make their first World Series appearance since 1945. They haven't won one since 1908 so everybody out there, root for my boys, okay? I love Boston Red Sox as well but the Cubs are my team to win.

Britney's Esquire issue to which she posed wearing nothing but beads is pretty much sold out here in my town. I'm not surprised but lucky me got 2 of them (1 for Bald-O and 1 for my collection of mags that will be worth something one day) once they hit the stands. The writer even had the nerve to talk about the possibility of seeing Britney's twat. You don't know how many guys would give their left nut for a peek.

R.E.M. has released their greatest hits CD to which I am pretty much smiling. I don't know anyone that doesn't like at least 1 song by them. Mine? It's gotta be "Nightswimming" with the most amazing piano segment to which I used to play on "repeat" all night. I've loved that song since it first played in my head years ago to which I had to find it (took 3 years). There's not much of other songs I can say I love but some of R.E.M.'s videos are pretty unforgettable. Right, Sammy?

Oh, man! Who else can't wait to get Matrix Reloaded on DVD? The movie was okay but that motorcycle chase on the freeway was fucking badass, baby! Some unforgettable characters as well: Monica Belucci's seductress, and the twins. It's sad how we forget that Matrix really started something to which the effects don't faze us quite as much. Yeah, Matrix Reloaded has some probs but it was still fun stuff.

I'm now wearing slippers in the house thanks to the possibility of destroying these new socks my mom got me out of pity. I hate wearing shoes in the house so I run around in Hanes socks and apparently recede them at a rapid rate all while:

-getting the mail in just my socks to which I walk down the driveway avoiding acorns dropped by squirrels (seems like my own real life video game, huh?).

-wearing in them in the kitchen while my dogs attack them.

-rubbing them on carpet thanks to doing the "Ozzy Shuffle" on occasion.

Look, I go through socks like Jennifer Love Hewitt goes through boyfriends.

Oh, I've also sat around cutting the sleeves off my old t's to which I wear at the gym. They're at the point that my man tits fall out on occasion. This happened on Thursday when I noticed in the mirror my nipples were out. It's just not polite to talk to someone while your nipples are pointing while everyone is required to be clothed. Yes, girls get distracted and tend to look at guys' nipples, too. That is a fact so I'll make sure my skimpy t's conceal rather than reveal. I'm not on the red carpet to expose myself like Lil' Kim, ya know?

Okay, since I owe a long entry, I've gotta give props to VH1 for doing a special on being a Playboy/Penthouse centerfold. It's gotta be one of the easiest money making times to just sit there with you legs open and smile. Oh, the show is called "Centerfold Babylon" and the girls are gorgeous!

Let's see, I'm a huge Playboy fan and I know almost all of the Playboy Playmates interviewed. My roommates found it odd that I could name quite a few. 2 of my faves are Jennifer Walcott and Devin Davasquez. They are so cute and Jennifer is tiny. I'll get more into my love of Playboy Playmates someday. Penthouse is not really interesting at all. The pictures are faded at times and it's almost all gynecology shots to which that's a turnoff. I love twats but it just makes me feel like the magazine is saying, "This is the reason to like her." Sorry, but I like the whole woman.

Sometimes, I wish girls bought magazines of us guys getting naked. *Hedgehoggy feels very weird after that sentence* I mean, let's face it. Playgirl is bought by gay males. Only one girl I know loved to look at penises and that was my friend "G." That was hilarious to hear her go on and on about how they look. Can anyone answer this guestion"

-How do guys pose in Playgirl? Do they stand there holding their cocks? Do they have to be hard, flaccid, or both? There is just no way I can get an issue to answer my own question so it would be nice to hear someone tell me. C'mon don't be shy.

Well, I'm out of here. This is long enough and I hope it's a good enough entry for being late. I'm sorry that you're a bit down, Sammy, but email me to tell me what's wrong. Brit, I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks for finding me! Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07