Man: "So, what are you saying, Hedgehoggy?

I started this diary shortly over a year ago thanks to being invited by someone already a member. It felt so good to let out my thoughts and frustrations to which I noticed how calm I became. No longer was I letting things build up inside myself to which I thought I would freak out thanks to an uncaring world run by complete idiots. Anyone notice how everytime a Republican takes office the world goes to shit?

It is most likely that I am locking my diary in 2 weeks? Why? The answer is rather simple: I'm finding myself bored in letting things out since I am taken out of context and people on here are whining about petty little things. I've always been taught to look at the big picture in that not everything in life is about me. It's funny how I've noticed that parents try to build up their child's self esteem at the same time making this child think the world is all about them. Sad but true.

My diary has been about so many things other than myself. Call me an "asshole" or "ignorant" but never call me "unaware." My eyes are so aware of what is around me that you really shouldn't be surprised as to how much I know and how open I am to life's good and bad qualities.

My diary has been honest in areas that I didn't think I'd open up to. I have discussed sex, drugs, and rock n' roll to a point that I did not sugar coat what people should have already known. This isn't your mother's diary but I'm the person she warned you about. I'm the badass with a heart of gold.

*Hedgehoggy laughs*

My diary has been subjected to quite a bit of criticism thanks to narrow minded fucks that don't really bother to read what I say but say what they think in place of it. The first attack was from a uber feminist that described herself as "Passionate." Sad because I saw anything other than what being passionate is in her diary. Everything was about herself.

The one woman I fell in love years ago with that also opened my mind to exploring sexuality described me, yes, little ol' me, as passionate. The words she used I will never forget:

"You think with your heart as well as your mind. This has nothing to do with sex but with the way you are."

In all that I do, I think and give what flows inside me. In no way do I want to hurt other people or harm others' way of thinking. It's when these people tend to obstruct others that I get angry easily. As they say, "Censorship is unAmerican."

So, I took a few hits when I lashed out at uber feminists. Many truly do hate men and tend to criticize everything they do as to holding the woman down. Well, men do make mistakes but I've no problem having a woman as a boss. Funny thing is that many of my teachers that were female made it easier. However, just because there's a twat in the picture doesn't mean everythings so perfect. Oh, there was also the fact that the uber feminist and I clashed over the use of the word "cunt."

What this girl's diary was in being so full of anger towards men and how women were absolutely perfect that I couldn't take it anymore. What once was a friend that invited me to Diaryland, I left and never looked back. Now, I find her entries entirely about whining. Sad to see someone with no substance. None. Funny how I *thought* she was nice.

Next came a religious little bitch wanting everything her way. Once again, I started out as friends and ended up burned. *Cute how she wanted me since it was a first to be hit on at Diaryland* I'm not entirely sure where it all went wrong but her disturbing need to control my diary freaked me out.

I should have been more aware of things when this girl demanded I put her on my faves. Like a sucker, I did and after 2 months of chatting back and forth she dropped me with no explanation except, "Oops."

What I think is that I did was anger her on my anti-religious stance. (ahem)....it goes like this:

I believe people that let religion rule their lives are feeble minded to the point where they have no fucking clue as to what to do with themselves. The old quote "WWJD" (What Would Jesus Do?) pissed me off into these fucks not actually thinking but doing what another person would do!

Well, to make a long story short, this girl was religious and did not take kindly to my stance. I've always thought that Mormons were short for "morons." Aren't I a nasty boy?

Another thing is that this girl insisted I send her pictures of me and my boys to which she promised pictures in return.

Nothing. Not a damn thing from this girl to which I just shrugged my shoulders and walked on. Apparently, promises are not kept in her religion.

"Pins and needles. Nice to know you. Goodbye!"

What humors me is that this girl soon sends me a long guestbook entry telling me how much she has changed and blah-blah-blah. I tell her that if she sends the pics that all is well since I'm not one to hold grudges.

Nothing. Not a damn thing. The reason? She wanted me to jump through hoops for her in order to "earn" them. So, I move on once again. I'm not falling for the same old thing again. Remember that old saying?

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Now, I've had stalkers. Those are occasionally funny. People I do not know have been reading close to or over 50 entries. This scares me since I am actually pretty private. In no way do I want people to be coming up to me and wanting to know me when I know nothing about them. That's why I'm fine with people that list me as a fave in reading as many entries as they wish. Feel free since I just might entertain you in some way.

I also hate it when people read so many entries and don't list me as a fave in that it makes me feel like I am not good enough. You are reading from a critic that really bashes himself to a point that he may only like 10 to 15 of his 1000 or so entries. It takes a lot to not erase what I write at times. If you don't like me, then fuck off. I've no time for weak of feeble minded people.

Diaryland has a few good qualities. For one thing, I have met some great people in helping me keep my sanity. Sammy and PenDragon urged me on throughout my tough times. There were so many incidents that had me want to just give up and quit Diaryland. There are a few people lately but I don't know them as well as the two above.

I do know that my diary is unique in some ways but unfortunately, people have been copying me. I've found entries that sound way too similar to my own. Why do people lie on Diaryland? It's just a fun way to let things out but to copy other people's stuff to make yourself sound more interesting is really scary. You could lead the dullest life but make an amazing entry with how you describe things. Just take a look around you. I'm not exactly living like P. Diddly here. All I do is make entries that give you an idea as to how I think and feel.

To which brings me to my anger lately......

I met 3 people on Diaryland that make me a bit angry in some ways. The first one is the girl that listed me as a fave with the words: "Verily do I heart his diary."

Here's another rap that I'm ready to spit:

What a fucking piece of shit this girl was! She didn't like the fact that I had the nerve to laugh about my old days of drinking and giving my account of stars on cocaine. It was most likely that all of this hit hard in her addiction to prescriptions. Weak, so she dropped me.

I'm bored with weak people that add me to their list of faves and then drop me for the littlest things. Two of them were for the insanest things: me telling what I've noticed about sorority girls and another on my old eating disorder.

In some ways, I should see this as a good thing. Weak people cannot handle me in that I will tell things that tend to be a bit truthful and hurt. Whoever told you that lies are best is lying. In no way do I hate all sorority girls or make fun of those with a disorder (hey, I had one!). All I do is just say what I've seen or experienced.

The person I am talking about, the weak and pathetic one, pissed me off in that she didn't bother to write back. In no way did she say she wouldn't be an email correspondent but hit me every now and then.

The funny thing is that her sex obsessed friend lists me as a fave. All of my entries that discussed this topic were all he read. Nothing else. His whole diary seems to be based on his cock. Narrow minded people disturb me.

What made me laugh was his starting a diary to help those with sex problems. How the hell did this guy get to thinking he knows all about such an amazing act!?! It's nice in honesty but a bit of too much arrogance.

These two people all descend down to the one girl that I *thought* I'd talk to for a great length of time. Unfortunately, I got burned again. This is a big reason why I am very cautious of who I talk to now.

I was asked for pictures of myself and friends to which I sent them to her along with a 3 page letter detailing who everyone was all while facing a minor financial disruption. She promised me that I would get many pictures of her in return. Excuses were all I got.

-We're waiting for a picnic.

-I have to be careful since my b-friend doesn't know about my diary.

-My dog was attacked.

-We're moving into a new apartment.

Then, she tells me that my insistence of getting what is owed to me is disturbing. What!?! All I wanted was what was promised to me long ago (April to be exact) so I can go my merry little way. I reminded every now and then yet never got much of a response. Gawd, her fucking picture is up on the net thanks to the university she attends.

I've been taught by my mother that promises are important and can define who you are. I should have been a bit more aware considering how cruel she was to her roommate on her roommate's birthday. You may hate the person you live with but give them a bit of friendliness on that individual's birthday instead of ditching her at a bar.

What also touched a nerve was being called "needy" by this girl. At first it didn't bug me but now it does. First of all, I am friendly. In no way do I want to intrude or talk back and forth all the time but I do respond to emails as fast as I can. That's all. I don't know if she still reads me but what can I say? It hurts a bit in what she did along with her 2 shallow fucks.

"How can you talk about me, call me weak,

when your father smokes coke and your mother's a freak?

So, I keep on rappin, if nothin else.

Keep your jealous thoughts to yourself."

Okay, I love pictures of people. I've added a few to my scrapbook that I've been given by those on Diaryland. It's nice to see who reads your diary as well as keep in touch. Unfortunately, my love of sharing is at a standstill. If you want to see me, you'll have to send me pics of yourself FIRST. I will promise to send you some of me and my gang of misfits.

So, what I'm trying to say here is that much of Diaryland is fucking false in how people are. They will lie to you and get what they want, whether it be entertainment or something to make themselves feel better. Just be aware.

Now, I will most likely be locking my diary in 2 weeks. It's still up in the air since I never say never. The only way I will let people in is if they list me as a fave. That's all. To which I will rid myself of the trash that came with starting this fucking diary. Don't think that I'm so exclusive since you don't have to read me. It's also that I'm sick of people looking for "spank material" finding my diary under disturbing shit like "little girls naked." Very weird.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07