Don't you just love people that know when to make fun of you? I've been wearing brown cargo pants and a yellow shirt with "pink" slippers. FYI they are fluorescent red but do look a bit pinkish. Scary. My mother has been the one criticizing my attire due to the shoes. She is obviously on my shit-list tonight.

Nothing wrong with wearing things that feel comfy right? Well, that's my feeling and I will stick to it since I'm more about comfort than what's "cool" or "trendy."

So, onto the news.......

A 13 year old girl surfing sensation had her left arm bitten off by a Tiger Shark while laying on her board in Hawaii. Wow! Thanks to this girl's fitness built body, she was able to paddle back to shore complete without that arm. The girl is alive and doing well.

Man, that takes me back. I'm not quite fearful of sharks due to my studies of them as a kid. However, my fear of the ocean is due more to NOT knowing what is around you as you give yourself to the sea. Since I can't swim too well, I can't go out there. Since I can't go into the ocean, I can't surf. Since I can't surf, I'll never get to experience the feel of what it's like in that kind of water to which you never know completely what creature is around you.

I just hope this doesn't bring a huge shark scare since they really are quite rare. Thanks to overfishing, their numbers are a bit too low to which the food chain will be screwed up in the ocean. I say, give 'em the Wildboyz! Let's send Steve-O and that "Party Boy" guy into the drink to which we can witness a Great White Shark eat 'em up. Don't try this at home, folks.

To which brings me to the funniest article I've read in a long time.......

In a foreign magazine (less censorship means lots of tits n' ass), there was an article on the guy that possibly has the largest dick on record. 18 inches. Think you can handle that, ladies?

Rolling Stone did an interview with this guy a while back to which I laughed at how dumb he was. The guy sounded like he barely got past 2nd grade. Of course, they didn't show pictures since we as humans are squeamish when it comes to the male penis. This one should go back to the factory for it's a bit......uh

They had a picture in this foreign mag of this guy to which he stood there with his 18 inch cock. I have no idea why a woman would want this thing inside her since it is absolutely the ugliest one I've ever seen and I was just about to hurl my breakfast. You've gotta hear this:

-He walks in New York in tight bicycle shorts to which his cock is so obviously able to be seen. Pictures of how people (especially women) react to seeing him are pretty funny.

-When he takes a dump, he has to hold his weiner because it hangs into the toilet's water. *Laughs*

-A woman paid him to let her suck his dick because she heard it was the largest and wanted to experience it.

-People pay him money just to see his dong.

Oh, gawd, this makes me laugh quite a bit. I'm not jealous one bit because my cock has been treated with such delicate care by girls. In no way do I want to have to hold it in awkward situations. In no way do I want to be forced to wear pants thanks to it hanging out of the leg area (it happens to him). Plus, my dong looks way better than his and much better than the guys' I'm forced to see in my gym thanks to our locker room being overrun with hairy beach apes.

This all brings me to my future entry. I've been inspired by a few Diarylanders that told about their love of the male penis. Now, I want to tell all about the loveliness of the vagina. I've already got a good idea on where to start to describe my love of this part of the female anatomy. The vagina should be celebrated for all it's pleasures brought about in life and not placed in the dark as something obscene and disgusting.

Ever notice something? I never use the word "pussy" because it's a word that describes weakness. The vagina aint weak, my friends. The thing has more surprises than Carrot Top's Toy Box.

I've been much too busy to do a few of the things I've been planning to do. I know I need to change my Profile and decide on what I'm gonna do in locking. It's all coming up soon once I get my bandanas, 20 minute running and errands done. I'm busy thinking of twats. Can you just smell the excitement?

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07