Voice echoing: "Real......real.....real.."

So, I am back from my trip! I'm pretty sure I got in around 3pm, complete with the smell of cigarettes and beer. It's pretty obvious that I tend to cling to these smells due to my need to associate with former college roommates with a habit for being themselves. Long live the revolution to uphold! All you that will admit to wanting to wear a banana costume in the park, sing weird songs, and be known for setting your feet on fire, stand up! We salute the idiotic ramblings of da Hedgehoggy for he has long tale to tell............

Well, I wanted to relax and sleep more than 3 hours, folks. That's exactly what I did when I arrived home to a sky slowly going black around 3pm all while being able to smell myself.

*Being able to smell how bad you smell is not good. However, it can be a positive sign of a good time*

To all of those that doubt themselves, I am here to tell you to overcome your fears. It's weird to have these set beliefs that certain things will cause pain and humiliation but push them aside.

Yes, I held a baby for the first time! I know it's not a big deal to a lot of people reading this moronic entry but I did and I am proud of myself for doing so. She was so much fun to just look into her little eyes and see the itty bitty little fingers coil up near her nose. Oh, geez! What has gotten into me?

I'm not the biggest fan of hospitals but I can put those things aside when the need for something is high. Bald-O took me to see his sister's baby girl, Ryley. She had it around 10:30pm on Friday night through 15 hours of labor! Mark, her husband (great friend to us), stayed at her side all through the day and night.

*I'm not going to say I'm proud of Mark because I think men should be by their wive's sides automatically when the women are in labor. Good guy!*

Once I walked in the door, I was presented with Ryley, all little 9 (I think) pounds of her. At first, I was apprehensive due to my fear of babies but I put it all aside to hold her all wrapped up. Bald-O took a picture of me in my little manliness (what little I actually have) holding something so tiny. I'm not kidding when I say that I got all mushy looking at Ryley while she slept.

Everyone in the room looked at me because they knew of my fear of infants. Mark's sister prodded me on since she was the one holding Ryley when I walked in. Now, Mark's mom was there as expected and talking up quite a storm as usual. I love her and how pleasant she is to talk to.

I don't know why people ask what you think of a newborn baby because what are you expected to say? Of course, they are adorable! Being bombarded by questions like this take away my need to look at how cute Ryley is.

*Hedgehoggy is sorry for taking away his usual humor and need for conversation on such topics as flatulence, vaginas, penises, and bananas. He will be back to his usual self*

After much holding and chatting, it was obvious Mark needed to get out so we all headed downstairs for lunch. Let me tell ya, hospital food is yucky. Yucky! Mashed potatoes and roast beef was so bland for my $5. Add that to sitting in a hospital to bring more pain. Something about being there.......

Once we did another round of an hour of holding Ryley and talking without the parents or family there (Saying to Mark "I'm surprised the baby is white!")we took off. Mark and Crystal were pretty much suffering from an onslaught of parents wanting to see Ryley. Hell, Mark looked like a mess.

So, we became homeless..........

Bald-O's trailer's heating thing broke down and it was FREEZING once we set foot in the place. No one could survive all this so we did what any sane person would do...........

We went on a beer run and THEN looked for a place to crash. Unfortunately, breaking into Rob's mansion proved impossible so we had to actually get the keys. That made us run around this small town since the person most likely to have them placed them elsewhere. You don't know how happy I was to have keys at 6pm.

Sitting in a mansion watching Charlies Angels: Full Throttle all while drinking Natty Light was fun. Nothing like seeing really amazingly built women all while feeling bloated and having to listen to Bald-O's need to pass gas in the main chair. Oh, we did lift plastic weights and took pictures in weird poses.

So, Bald-O gets a call from his friend "Tuck," a real nice hairy guy is the best description. I've met him several times due to Bald-O's need for male bonding.

Tuck was at a bar being overrun by a girl named "Beth's" birthday party. He wanted us to get our asses out there (23 minutes away) and embarass the hell out of ourselves as usual. No problem.

The only problem that did come up was the need to pee while driving for those 23 minutes after drinking. As soon as we got into the parking lot, I washed Bald-O's tires while he ran out somewhere. After hearing him complain so much in the jeep, it was nice to hear nothing but the sound of your own piss hitting the tires. I don't care who saw my cock as I stood there, I had to go, too!

As soon as we get into the bar, Beth sees Bald-O and I. Oh, I knew the way she looked at me there was going to be something even though this was the first time Beth and I met. Don't you just love being able to read the future all with how someone looks at you?

Well, this is part 1. Due to how long my entry is and how many of you have studying to do, I decided just now to cut it short. Part 2 contains:

-"Why drunken males should not be allowed cameras."

-"Well, someone has to fast forward the porn!"

-"I swear she looked like she was over 18!"

-"Someone had a little crush on me."

-"I am getting revenge! Yay!"

-"I wish roads were less bumpy so it would help me not feel like throwing up."

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07