Never eat donuts and pizza on the same day. Don't let cute high school girls hit on you. Working in very cold weather makes you pee every 20 minutes. People that you work with seem to poop more when under stress. Life begins AFTER 5am. "Only 9 and a half hours to go" is not something you want to say at the start of work. Some women are very mean when shopping. Having a female co-worker feel your muscles is an energy revitalizer. There is no way I could prostitute myself in the parking lot in that weather.

Alright, that's my advice and what I learned from today's 10 and a half hours of work, folks. It aint pretty when having to deal with insane women gone amuck due to Doorbusting Deals and their own personal agendas.

It was fun to see a lot of co-workers in the store this morning instead of the usual small gang. Pretty much half showed up for the 5am to 2pm shift. The rest came for the 2pm to 10pm. I have no idea who came to take over my shift but good luck to them. It's gotten colder.

What suprised me is that those 10 and a half hours went by so fast. I'm not kidding! The reason is I had a lot of fun chasing down carts and people that forgot their purchases. However, I could do without the morons that leave carts behind other people's cars or in a parking lot waaaaaaaaaaaaaay over in another area. People can be so rude.

Remember that guy that loves Slipknot? Fun guy! He and I would run outside and chase carts (he was the exit greeter but also worked with me on occasion) all while rasing each other or trying to glide with the wind. He took a long lunch so I took a long lunch due to me waiting for him.

Okay, I'm going to do an entry on this someday but once again, I get hit on by high school girls! Yes, there is one that I work with that will not take her eyes off of me while I was working near her. To be truthful, she is cute but she's a junior and I'm really not interested in possible immaturity. However, this girl is nice and she let me use her chapstick due to my forgetting some.

Lunch was a lot of fun. We had Jerry Springer playing as we ate pizza. Nothing like watching enormous white chicks that like to go topless and chase small white chicks with enormous flapjacks, huh? Well, if that's your idea of fun then you can ride with us.

Later on, Maury Povich came on in which we were told to guess whether the person all dressed up in the latest skank-wear was a man or a woman. Good ol' Hedgehoggy here has a pretty good eye for telling if it's a cock or a twat. For me, it's gotta be the face in telling.

Steph, one of my co-workers that likes to put a lot of salt on her cheese pizza (never seen this before) loved to tease me throughout work. Oh, she's cute and pale like me! We're regular Caspers the Friendly Ghosts here. I let Steph feel my arms since she asked about where I put all that pizza I ate at lunch.

"My life is working, working out, drinking on occasion, and running like a mofo from the coppers."

Yes, the rude women were vastly annoying. One got pissed off at me because I couldn't answer her question and sped off to park somewhere. Fucking slit-rot should have planned a bit better than to rely on someone working his ass off to get carts in cold weather. Next time, I'll stand on the hood of her car and piss on it so it's frozen with my golden.

Crotch Rot was hardly ever seen due to her being busy in another section, namely the warm floor area. I'd take cold any day to be away from her and it hurt to see Crotch Rot being nicer to other workers. One more month of her is all I have to deal with!

To entertain myself (as well as horrify shoppers), I did "The Macerena" in the front of the store by accident. I know it sounds weird to just but I'm like a musical every now and then. Sometimes, a Hedgehoggy just gots to dance to keep warm.

Peeing was funny in that every time I did, I had to leave the store through the back exit since the crowds blocked me out. Every 20 minutes due to my body feeling so cold I had to whip out the ol' schlong and let a good urination fly all while looking at Spongebob. Yellow sponges do seem to help but he could do without the suspenders. C'mon, what kind of guy would wear them!?!

Got a few laughs out of Diaryland. Why is it that girls can't seem to actually get the length of their boyfriends' penises correct? 11 inches!?! Sorry, but the average cock is 5 and 3 quarters and 11 would be in John C. Holmes territory. Mine? Definitely above average and I don't lie.

Well, I'm heading on up to my room after rearranging it earlier. I got a new wall scroll of Elektra, the ninja/assassin in Daredevil comics that is incredibly beautiful artwork! I'm going to have to leave early tomorrow so I don't have to deal with the crowds and then run at the gym. Again, donuts and pizza are not a good combination to eat on the same day. You stomach starts feeling like a washer/dryer but with worse fumes.

- - 2009-07-07

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