I know many of you are just sitting here reading my diary while wishing the week's vacation was still in effect. Thanks to finals being here and those damn tests, it's gonna be a rocky time period. My guess is that this is where I come in. Many people in college seem to read me and continue to read me all while taking a break from studies or whatever the fuck I do to get your attention. Just don't stop fucking your boyfriend/girlfriend to do this. I'm not as good with writing or humor as Conan O' Brian, an amazing man of intellect.

So, this is where you, my fellow Diarylanders come in. I need help or more of an opinion. My dear mother is a very hard person to shop for when it comes to Christmas presents. I'd like to do something quite thoughtful for her but she gives me no clues. Asking for a simple answer to what my mother needs is like asking Liberace to only wear one piece of bling-bling. It's impossible.

"Oh, Hedgehoggy, I need a lot of things."

Picture me taking mental notes but to no actual images coming up. What the fuck do you need, Ma????

My mother has been through a bit of the old thickness with me at times. She was truly freaked out about me going to Canada on my own and tried desperately to get me to stay here in Illinois.

"But you can use the money for a big high-definition TV, Hedgehoggy."

Well, I am one to say that a piece of technology is nothing compared to meeting the most wonderful woman in the world, my PenDragon. However, I do understand my mom's extreme scare in which I:

-Went to Canada on my own.

-Lived for 1 week in Montreal with PenDragon.

-Flew on a plane for the first time all while going to Chicago O' Hare, a very big airport. If you've never been to this place, be prepared for a shock in which you need to take a railcar to different sections because COH is that fucking big!

Funny how my mom has only seen me drunk once and I still remember it. I don't remember where I came from but I know she was standing at the top of the steps laughing at me as I tried desperately to climb them. My mother finds my "little incidents" to be quite humorous. Hell, she's the one that starts the farting wars in the truck on our trips down south. I am male, therefore I win all the time.

FYI: Never select a male to do battle in farting. This is a place where we rule and should not necessarily be proud. That is all.

So, if anyone has a few suggestions as to what to get my mother, I'd take them into account. She is not a jewelry person or perfumy type but very low-key. My mother's only odd obsession is her huge cow collection. All around this house is an amazing (not quite the word I'd use but....) amount of black n' white plush cows. Trust me. My mom is well known for this.

Today? Blah. A friend of mine in the gym commented on how I looked today.

"You look tired."

Yeah., I've felt like that pretty much all day today but I did my run, sit-ups, push-ups all in about an hour this afternoon after work. I'm not sure if it's the lack of sleep or the cold weather that is making me feel so tired today. Generally, I like this type but without the wind.

I've gotta admit that getting up at 3am or 4am is getting tougher each day. Most of me is completely asleep once the alarm goes off that I wonder if I should even get out of bed at all. It's then that I, Hedgehoggy, think about all those kids' faces as they see the toys those little maniacs force their parents to buy them. If I can make just one child happy, my work is done.

*Evil Laughter*

Seen the latest cover to People Magazine? It's got one of the scariest pictures of Michael Jackson I've ever seen! "That is one ugly white woman!" is what I first thought. My question is how parents would even trust their children with Michael Jackson or even let them sleep in the same bed with him. Are parents really that dumb?

Alright, I've bored y'all enough so this little white boy with very spiked hair soon to be shaved off again need to rest his sore right foot.

I've got 2 shout outs:

Happy birthday to Playboy Magazine and it's continuous pursuit in protecting sexuality! You guys, along with my mom, Kristan, and a few others helped mold me into the eccentric I am today. I may not completely agree with Hugh Hefner but I do admire that man for his achievements and the way he is.

Thanks to Lu-Lu for signing my guestbook. It's been so cold at times due to people only using my Notes to send me messages or to ask for a password. My Guestbook was so lonely. Keep up the dark humor, Lu-Lu!

Now to all of you reading in the dorm or apartment:

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07