*Did you know there was a number you could call to seek "guidance" after viewing Janet's wardrobe malfunction? Yeah, tits do weird things to us and have some kind of warped voodoo, especially the male population. Try visiting the local strip joint like ol' Hedgehoggy here last summer.*

I will defintely make a comment on Janet's "mishap" (Oh, like you fell for "wardrobe malfunctin!") later on. All the funny stuff of my observations will come later.

What happened was my grandfather's surgery suddenly happening. It took place on *I think* Wednesday morning to which my family was summoned to the hospital once it was finished. All of this caught me off guard due to my own pathetic selfish problems as witnessed in an entry.

The surgery was for his knees to which he was walking with his bones touching. I'm assuming the cartilage was pretty much receeded and needed to be replaced. It was pretty damn nasty to see how my grandfather could barely walk after the surgery and is in constant care.

The added issue is also with my grandmother, whom has definite Alzheimer's. She basically cannot remember much of anything recent so everything said 10 minutes ago has to be repeated. My grandmother does remember me so that is not an issue. It's just the little things and her own problems of not cleaning that have become bothersome, such as the fridge.

Yeah, my parents had to clean out my grandmother's fridge due to her not doing so for a long, long time. Mold? We gots yo'r mold! Oh, you don't wanna know about some nasty shit we found that must have been in there for what looks like a year's worth of cottage cheese. My grandma complained of the shits so this is the reason. Ever cleaned out a fridge? I've seen my past college roommates' with much cleaner than my grandma's.

It's hard. I sat there with my grandma at the kitchen table while my mom was visiting Grandpa in the hospital. The conversation was as smooth as watching a poo fall off a stick after the person ate chunky peanut butter. I was at odds due to my frustration with repeating myself. If you know me, this is something I am very impatient about.

I understood what I was confronting with my grandma so I kept my cool in dealing with the same questions over and over:

-"Do you have a girlfriend?"

-"Where is your brother?"

I could go on but my usual goofy remarks to the first question ("No, but I get laid a lot") were kept quiet. Oh, you should have seen the look on my grandma when I said that long ago. My mom never found it funny, however.

My grandpa came home from the hospital on Saturday evening. It hurts to watch the one strong grip my grandma has on life so fragile. Trust me. My grandpa is very independent so he is pretty damn grouchy that he now has to be escorted to the bathroom due to knee surgery. To have to see my dad hold him up with a belt is hard but the fact that he can eventually walk without as much pain is bliss.

By the time we left, which would be early this morning, my grandpa was walking more on his own. Hooray for him! I miss that hard working grumpy bastard that I used to be terrified of as a kid due to all those shotguns he once owned. I'm kidding. My grandpa is a bit odd but the glue in my grandparents' relationship.

It'll be my grandma that we really have to watch out for. Basic knowledge slips by too fast along with memory. When we went to the hospital to visit after surgery, my grandma greeted her husband by wiggling his toes. Not cool so my mom had to stop her.

So, you are probably asking where all the silly stuff happened. Well, Bald-O came by on Saturday afternoon (Grandpa was still in the hospital and would not be out til next Saturday)to pick me up or I'd go crazy in that house! My parents did not need this while they were readying the house for my grandpa all while cleaning out things such as the fridge, kitchen, and bathrooms. Yes, I have goofy shit to tell about what happens when we get together as always.

I'm just so happy to be sleeping in my own bed tonight instead of in Crystal's or some other place we visited. Gawd, we were all over the place from Saturday to that Sunday (day after Grandpa got home). I felt so lucky to be one of the 90 million other people to see a tit!

To which brings me to a weird thing today. I, Hedgehoggy, am being subjected to major flirtation by the bisexual girl we will call "J." She sent me a few emails while I was gone telling about how she missed me (gasp!) and that class was no fun without me (another gasp!).

"Flirtation," you ask? J was so happy to see me sit down next to her before class that she couldn't keep her hands off all while slapping my leg and such. We passed notes in class (Hedgehoggy never grows up) and she wants me to see her soon. Good gravy! J has a girlfriend and Hedgehoggy is confused. I'll just play it out for now so this will be fun to discuss. I've got drama and possibly a sex scandal on the horizon. Unlike 99% of the male population, I am not interested in a threesome.

*Laughs*

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07