*One has to worry about this since Hova won't be able to afford his bling if all the little gangstas are pulling this shit*

Nope, it's an article I read this morning about how Scotland's little hedgehogs are being killed/slaughtered all due to the little shits eating rare bird eggs. Hey, we like eggs, especially scrambled and as omelets! It's funny how this story touched little ol' me due to my love of little critters, especially because......(ahem)....Hedgehogs are so damn cute, what with their little spikes and nocturnal 'tude.

Guess who I talked to last night for 30 minutes? E and I know what you're thinking. Now, I heard she was back thanks to a friend of mine in the gym telling me but now I get to see if the myth was true. Yeah, it was a bit odd but here goes......

E was walking into the main area of the gym as I was walking out. The two of us met in the center to which I know she saw me from a distance. I'm pretty sure E was worried since the two of us hadn't talked in a long time. "Is Hedgehoggy mad at me?" "Is E mad at me?" Yeah, those things floated in our heads but...

As soon as E and I met, while others in the gym were busy grunting and straining with weights, we just couldn't help but smile at each other! In this 30 minute conversation to which we learn why the other disappeared so suddenly, she showed an unusual look. It's here that I told E about J (Letters are alive!) and her face kind of dropped. It was so obvious that I guess she's a little sad about it.

My question is, "Why?" E has a boyfriend and I was busy having a lot of fun with her to which I'm sure the guy wasn't exactly happy about. E and I went shopping, had lunch and dinner together, and made a lot of faces at each other.

*You can stop and barf now*

The good thing is that E is leaving to visit her family in Peru very soon so things will simmer down once again but it's so good to see her! She's one of the most beautiful teeny tiny girls I know, other than in my dreams of stripping midgets riding elephants but you get the idea.

Oh, the funniest thing was telling E that I met J's ex-girlfriend. Her mouth dropped to say, "You mean....." Exactly! Oh, I laughed as the look on E's face said it all. Then, she asked about where my mother was to which she knows how this house became The Best Little Whorehouse In Illinois.

Since when have I become a hot piece of white ass around here!?! Don't forget how I was complaining about a few girls I met last year that got on my nerves by playing games. Now, I've got a bit of emotions out of E and I know J's got her juices flowing for me. In the gym, I can see from the mirrors that I'm definitely checked out while running the treadmill thanks to what J calls, "A really nice ass." Then, there's Misty's friend in the gym that is really giving me a lot of attention. What's a moron to do?

I have come up with a solution to deal with all these girls that are giving me a bit too much attention since my interest only lies in J:

-I can read children's stories to make believe I am in a land far, far away where I am wearing nothing but leaves and hanging out with a blind ferret named "Tito."

-Walk everywhere all while wearing a Star Trek outfit and making "Vulcan signs" at everyone.

-Start referring myself in the third person. "Hedgehoggy don't wanna play Spin the Bottle!"

-Climb a tree and stay there so I can be raised with baby birds all while learning a new language. Raccoons are cool, too!

It's just amusing how my life has changed so much in such a short while all thanks to my mom's being stuck down south and meeting J. It's not the sex, although that is great, but my life does not feel normal right now. I want normal soon or you are going to find me blasting Bob Segar songs and dancing in my undies to "Old Time Rock N Roll" like only Hedgehoggy can! Watch as I wiggle my weiner for for some imaginary audience's whistles!

Oh, last night? I didn't see J thanks to her heavy homework load after work but there's a good chance that I will be going to a small party tonight with her. The dogs and I ran around the house but only sat still for the TV show, The OC. Then, the three of us fell asleep on the couch while watching Howard Stern. His interview with Anna Nicole Smith had me grossed out and snoozing in no time.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07