-"Where's the Beef?" slogan.

-Aqua's "Barbie Girl" song.

-Making fun of Vanilla Ice.

What is really getting on my nerves is this William Hung guy from American Idol. Now, I thought this little Asian guy was hilarious when I first saw him sing Ricky Martin's "She Bangs" but it has gotten to the point that I no longer laugh but cringe at what I am seeing, a very, very ugly little guy letting people ridicule him to the point that it's sad. Hell, this little moronic piece of shit has been given singing lessons and invited to sing at all kinds of parties to which we also find William on talk shows. C'mon! Enough's enough! I liked seeing Mr. Hung a few times but the joke's done and should be confined with his limited singing ability and whatever you can call "dance moves." Those moves were what made me laugh a lot when I first saw him.

So, I have an absolutely true story that will sound completely made up but I swear it happened last night. It was so new to me and even though J warned me about what I was going to be hearing, I didn't believe it either.

I met J's mom because she really wanted to meet me. The sister was there as well and even she joined in on things that made me feel like I was in a frat house (been in plenty of 'em!) while enjoying me cold Bud Light. I don't think the pupils of my eyes opened quite as much as what did them in last night......

First, my butt was on proud display for J's mom and her sister. As I got some pizza, she proudly lifted my shirt a bit to show this amazingly toned posterior's shape formed in my jeans. Oh, this surprised me but definitely didn't bother me at all. In fact, I pretty much let loose after this!

The conversations? OMG, we talked about "eating pussy" (Mind you, this was the mother talking), "fisting," "anal beads," and sex positions. Colorful? Oh, so very as J pretty much covered her ears while the mom told me that "eating pussy is a very good thing." The sister nodded in agreement.

I know all this sounds unbelievable and this is the main reason J doesn't want our parents to meet. My mom would seriously freak to hear what went on even if she knows there is sex involved. What would make it even worse is telling how J's mom dropped trou (I aint shittin'!) to show me the tattoo on her ass. It was hilarious to see J trying to force the mom to keep her pants up but the sister held her down. Is this family colorful or what?

*All of a sudden, the line, "I have nipples, Jack. Why don't you milk me," from Meet the Parents came into my head.*

The sister was there with the mom to watch some DVDs rented from NetFlix. I sat there with an embarassed J while Holes and S.W.A.T. played. I barely remember anything about the first movie since my jaw was pretty much on the ground since J's sis talked about how to "fist."

I've never come across women so freely into talking about sex. There's a few close ones but this.........this is unbelievable! The mom, I'm guessing, loves the fact that I'm quite open so not much embarasses me. Hell, she even talks about the sex she's getting while dating 2 guys. I'm sure the mom is getting "eatin' out."

I told you this is getting pretty odd in that I've never come across some of these things. You don't have to hide sex in J's house because the mom WANTS you to do it with her daughter. Once the door is shut, I'm sure encouragement will be yelled out from those two.

I don't think anyone has ever met a parent that shows his/her ass on the first meeting, however............

So, I'm okay mind-wise but I cannot deny that I am sick. This cold makes me sound wike dis and my voice sounds wike a fwog id in my twoat. No clearness but weird sounds come out.

I'm afraid that I may have given J my "code" (as I call it) thanks to all the major amount of kissing and well, I cannot deny this girl an orgasm....or two. My guess is that I am getting so good with my tongue and her juices are so tasty/inviting that her scent was all over my nose once again.

We did it here at my house while my mom was down the hall. Somehow, J kept her voice down when she came. However, my "slurping sounds" were definitely there as always. I'm guessing that J wasn't comfortable having sex in her house with the mom and sister yelling out help.

-"Oh, oh, OH!"

Either that or William Hung is in my head singing, "She Bangs" once again. This is not good at all. It's pretty much like suddenly getting the image of your grandma walking around in her underwear and flashing everyone every 2 minutes.

One interesting thing, to me at least, was seeing the Comedy Central show, "Insomniac" late last night. It was based in Montreal, Canada this time and I saw so many of the places I visited. It felt so good to see the streets and pubs I encountered that year while visiting The PenDragon, whom I will never forget. Dave Attel, the host, knows where to find a good beer.

- - 2009-07-07

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