Audience: "Hallelujah!"

Yes, I feel just a tad bit better due to actually sleeping without waking up and having to start snorting like a pig searching the ground for corn and nice shit to eat.

However, I am still not at my best due to the coughing, sneezing, and achey head that seems to go on forever. Giving a speech in class today was....interesting due to my thought that I sound like a robot.

Hedgehoggy: "Okay, kids, I am going to steal all your medication and use it for evil. Evil doings are what we robots do best. It's kind of like the Bush Administration but......oh, never mind."

If you are one of those guys that doesn't understand women but would love to give it a shot, I have advice due to my having so many girls as friends in college. Well, it's better to know what to look for in the "enemy" and how they communicate such as those little things they do when greeting each other. Guys, girls hug when they haven't seen each other for anything over 2 minutes. It's not lesbian tendencies, okay?

Well, I've learned that girls love to discuss sexual matters with their friends, namely other girls and the occasional gay male that listens for obvious reasons as well. Now fuck me if I'm wrong but......*snicker*

1. The way a guy kisses is the most commonly discussed event. First one or or just how he kisses is given in much detail. You don't want to make it too sloppy or with too much tongue. From what I've seen, girls like to get that damn thing and rip it out for their own FUCKING REASONS!

*Whoops! I'm getting ahead of myself here.*

Kissing is very important and will give some sort of idea as to whether you may or may not be a good lover due to how you work that tongue and the effort you give, guys. Girls don't want sloppy lovers or guys that don't show themselves in displays of affection.

Virgins, from what few I've met, really put a lot of emphasis on kissing. The reason is simply because you sure as hell aint getting into them panties so this is their form of sex for now. These girls can be found by their constant giggles and refer to the penis like this:

"Did you ever touch it? Ya know......it?"

2. Looks. Girls will go over every fucking detail as to how their new boyfriend/lover or hell, a gorilla looks like to their friends. It's weird to us guys since all we do is this:

Guy 1: "Hey, does she have nice tits?"

Guy 2: "Uh, hell yeah! Big and I sucked 'em last night! Oh, shut up! The game's on."

3. Penis size is very important to girls since they like to have something to brag about. Each girl I've met has a preference so every guy will have a girl that will like what he was given. 90% of girls have a length need and the others are based on thickness.

There are the rare girls that would prefer a guy with a smaller penis due to fear of it hurting during sex but I haven't actually met one.

Girls will give out a hell of a lot of knowledge of what the guy is packing down there.

For example: I had a roommate that had sex with the girl next door to us in the dorm. 2 years later, we found out from this girl that he had only 1 ball. Mind you, the girl telling us was one of the other girls that heard it from the girl that actually had sex with him.

So, why am I telling you all this knowledge that I learned from being around too many females and listening to tales of things that are normall kept locked up? BECAUSE IT'S ALL FUCKING TRUE!!!

I'm laughing a bit on this because I find it pretty funny, the differences between the sexes. Rob would sit there and tell us how "tight" his girlfriend is while I'm sure that girl is telling her friends how "small" Rob is.

J? She told her mom, sister, and best friend all about the sex we've had and I'm fine with this. I knew the mom would want a lot of details since...well, you've got to meet this woman and how she says "eatin' pussy" is a good thing. Well, then, Hedgehoggy is a very good thing for J.

I could go into much more detail in all that I've told in this entry but my head is pretty congested and far from being humorous.

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

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