Okay, I'll get into all that in just a minute but I need to let out a rant. This will go towards something that has been brewing within me for a few days. Don't be too shocked or offended but just try to understand where I, Hedgehoggy, am coming from.

I'm sick to death of all this praise for the TV show Friends. It's nothing but a bunch of overpaid whiny morons that are so snobbish that I just cringe to see these fucks see how bad other people have it, at least the characters. I will be so glad when Friends ends but the problem is the damn syndication of having to see these whiners everyday when you turn on the TV after 5 is gonna be hell, I tell ya.

I'll admit that I used to watch Friends but back then it was actually funny. Really! Mind you, the time period I am talking about was when Marcel, the monkey made his debut on Ross's shoulder. Now, it seems to be the same old thing over whether Ross will be with Rachel or Chandler is really gay and wants Joey but doesn't seem to know it. Remember when they got those leather seats to watch TV in and never left them?

TV shows seem to lose it all once they just float on into mediocre bliss. Most money goes to these overpaid actors but the really good people that actually write the stuff have to be let go because they come up with complicated dialogue n' shit. Chandler Bing, you aint got a thing.

I know it's kind of funny how I remember so much from Friends even though I haven't seen it in so long. Hell, I still get a chuckle of how Chandler and Joey got a duck and a chick to which Chandler asked, "Could we be more white trash?" It's easy to tell that I am a sucker for animal jokes.

Oh, don't get me started on Will & Grace because that show is pretty much the pits most of the time. I am subjected to such shit thanks to running on the treadmill and having to see it. Jack's kind of funny but not much else to get me laughing. Then again, you are talking to someone that nearly cried laughing over just about everything that came out of Paris Hilton's mouth on The Simple Life.

The power of the almighty one, John Cleese, couldn't even get much out of little ol' me as I ran. Gawd, this guy is like something dreams are made out of when it comes to humor. Ever seen a Monty Python movie or skit? Probably something so funny that the average American can't figure out.

Editor: "Psst! Hedgehoggy's a wee bit British and can be found eating a Fig and occasional fat free cookie under an umbrella."

It's my opinion that America is getting dumber and no hope is in sight. 60% of us are against gay marriage. Gawd, why is it so hard to let other people live their lives!?! Why is there such an uproar over a tit on TV!?! Why is Howard Stern being kicked off!?! Is freedom of speech really a threat to Aschcroft and Bush!?! Why won't my town show the controversial movie, The Dreamers, just because it's rated NC-17!?! Why aren't people standing up to all this and letting us be pounded down by our own government!?!

Someday, you will hear the words, "This sounds like a job for Hedgehoggy!" out of nowhere. I just might have to save all of freedoms people are letting leave slowly. Strange how I even found myself applauding Rosie O' Donnell (I despise her almost as much as Bush) for getting "married." You can tell she is such a bitch in that her "life partner" doesn't dare speak a word even if a microphone is in front of her. Ever notice this? Rosie's like a big fat turd you just can't seem to flush while wiggling the handle for hours.

So, last night? Dinner was good but to J, it was a disastor. I'm betting that you would know why.

Mom. Yeah, J's mom had her reeling in anger/laughter all at once. Funny how I think the mom is hilarious but J doesn't want me to egg her on.

Just what did J's mom do? Alright to make it short, she:

-Farted very loud complete with lifting her ass out of the seat not once but....three times. I forgot to count.

-Stole some of J's salad.

-Did her dance to which she knows how to "get some." Mom gets laid, ya know?

-Grabbed both my ass cheeks to give 'em a squeeze. J was furious over this one.

-Insisted on everyone getting hugs but J wouldn't let Mom hug me because of the ass squeeze.

That's what I can remember for now. J wanted to get out of the house after all this and watching the movie, Poop Floats,.....uh.....Hope Floats. Ya know that flick with Sandra Bullock and Harry Connick Jr.? By this time, the mom came back after "gettin' some." I came very close to asking her if she was wearing her "magic panties" but J doesn't like it when I egg her mom on. Oh, it's hilarious in that house!!!

It was so nice of J to cook dinner for me along with 2 of her friends. Just to see her in the kitchen and then scooting me out due to her needing the place to herself was.......well, I can't think of a good fucking word at this point. Yeah, J's a keeper and so full of what I've been missing in the past, heart.

My mom and I are arguing about the dogs, Bonnie and Clyde, since my grandma's dog is most likely going to have to stay with us. A nursing home has been decided and Grandma's dog is coming here soon. There is no way I will let my two dipshits go elsewhere. No way! While Mom's been away, those two can be found with me watching Jimmy Kimmel (J's gone at this time) all curled up at my sides. Clyde's got this personality that I can't get enough of. 5 Yorkshire Terriers to deal with is hard but not impossible. Dogs are forever.

Tonight, I am going to play catch up with a few things thanks to J needing the whole day for homework and such. Gawd, when't the last time I've ever seen TV while not running on a treadmill!?!

- - 2009-07-07

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My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07