My mother is now making a definite drive down south due to so many things that I'll just list them:

-My grandma has fucked up her pill taking by messing around with what she is supposed to take along with Grandpa's. What was clearly labeled as to what to take and when for each day has been fucked up for some reason by her and only her. Trust me. It's a lot of pills.

-My grandma left the stove on for no reason.

-My grandma will not take baths or change clothes unless she gets Lottery tickets. It's bribing but it works, folks. Do you wanna use the hose?

-Grandpa has surgery on Tuesday for his gall bladder. It's a pretty easy procedure but still........there is a lot of pain from what I've been told.

-My grandpa has quite a few complications from his knee surgery that my dad is forced to stay down south and deal with. This tests his patience like you wouldn't believe! Take an old man that is pretty damn stubborn and add with a middle aged man that is equally stubborn and you'll get the idea, kind of like a hunting dog put into a sack with a racoon.

Gawd, I'm just a mess of emotions and worrying here and there. My mom is not herself and most likely will not be for some time. What I do is try to help out as much as I can by dealing with the little things that make it easier on her, bills and errands.

My mom does not want me to work for a while with all this chaos around. She's fine with me going back to my old place temporarily due to 5 hour days so I can keep things orderly here. It's not easy.

It's funny how I can hide what I am feeling by being so pleasant to people, whether it be in the gym like tonight or in front of J.

Well, obviously, I would be a complete mess if it weren't for J. She's amazingly understanding as to how she has a fucked up boyfriend. There is no drama or anything of that nature but just me with a mind that darts all over the place. J's a great girl to be around.

Another little thing that's had me relax temporarily is that book, "A Girl Named Zippy," by Haven Kimmel. It's actually pretty damn cute to see a biography from a little girl's perspective all while growing up in a town of 300. Haven observes quite well and I find a few things of me in her observations as well. However, I am a bit more vulgar due to naughty thoughts.

Oh, J's in trouble with her mom tonight so things are quiet. I'm fine with all that since I don't want her to see me when I'm all worrying and running like an old lady at a bingo parlor after accidently eating some very hot tamales.

What is on my mind is what J told me a few nights ago about my appearance. She said that it was hard to talk to me in that she was worried that I was a "complete jock." What J meant was that due to her shyness, she didn't know if I was some nasty guy that only thought of himself as being THE hot shit and making fun of people.

Well, as much as it may surprise you, I kind of hate being described as "just a jock." As many people have discovered, I'm actually quite nice. With a goofy eccentric's personality and a need to just be myself, you'll realize that I'm just a geek inside that loves to make people laugh.

Yeah, I know that a few people on Diaryland have seen my pictures (especially Sammy!) to which I wonder what they see. Do the words fit the picture of what I look like or do you instantly get shy around knowing me? Whatever you say I am, I guess I am.

However, I can never leave the gym due to my love of working out. It relaxes me and helps me stay sane when all the chaos erupts. You'd be surprised at how much more you lift while being angry at a bad grade or having to deal with a girlfriend gone crazy.

I may love baseball, football, and so on but you've gotta know that I also love G.I.Joes, Duck Tales, Scooby-Doo cartoons (70's ones), punks, geeks, goths, martial artists, comics, cartoons, skaters, obscure people not in it for fame like Jena Malone (Donnie Darko's girlfriend) and so on. I can go on but what's the fucking point!?! You already know my love of Lord Of the Rings to which I fucked up in trying to clap my hands.

*See previous entry on why I cannot clap*

I've got all different kinds of bad dreams that I'm going to be going to a funeral sometime soon and I am trying to stop them.

Oh, I'd like to add that I will be the spikey haired guy with blue eyes and a massive chest with thick arms and a tiny ass sitting there in the corner just wishing all the bad things would go away. Would you still talk to me or just go on your own with your own personal lifestyle? I'm really not worth the trouble but I'm curious......

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07