My girlfriend has a curfew. There, I said it now get it all out and have a good laugh, folks.

Audience: "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

I'm not stressing this whole curfew thing as being horrible but I find myself craving J every now and then since not only is she my girlfriend but also a great friend that I can say anything around. No judgements. Only odd looks when I say something completely stupid.

Most of this curfew has to do with her mom's wanting J to do well in school. She's not horribly strict but just keeping an eye on her daughter. Add that with her mom's jealousy over dating me and you get the idea.

J and a friend of mine all agree that J's mom is jealous. It's funny to see the mom have dinner with us and it sometimes feels like the mom is trying to entertain me, little ol' me. Now, I'm fine with all the farting, talkin' about oral sex, the "get some" dances, and so on. It's just that I occasionally wonder if J's mom acts like an adult because I have yet to see it, foks.

Then again, I haven't seen J's mom a huge amount of times since her working and such get in the way. From my count, it's at 2 times to which a hell of a lot of vulgarity and laughs ensues. J told me that the seriousness is rare so I just have to make do with what I've been presented with, a woman that enjoys farting at the dinner table.

I told Bald-O a mild form of this and he doesn't believe me! In his world, no woman would ask her daughter's boyfriend whether he "eats pussy." That's just pure insanity and kept til after the wedding or so on in a relationship. Then again, I don't think Bald-O knows that girls get vibrators.

Gawd, I can't stop laughing at MTV's Real World, lately. It's Brad and Cammie that have me enjoying it since Brad can't stay out of jail and Cammie is so into Brad but has to make do with her vibrator. It takes a real woman to admit on national TV that a device like that is in much use. Go for it, Cammie!

Actually, I shouldn't even have much of an issue with J's curfew since she's coming over later for a quickee. Oh, I so please this girl since the panties just drop so fast! This poor boy gets worn out so how the hell am I gonna go to the gym with a tired tongue!?!

Sometime soon, I'd like to take J out on a real date due to all the chaos currently keeping us from one. We, and I do mean me also, have not been to an actual movie together. Hey, the last flick I saw in the theater was Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle. My date was Bald-O and he was lovely.

*Slaps head*

Oh, I did something I've been wanting to do in so long! Me gots a Guns N Roses t-shirt, the one consisting of the old logo on the front. I haven't seen one of these since..........long ago. Makes me want to get to Bald-O's and karaoke my rendition of "Welcome To the Jungle" once again.

Speaking of karaoke, J will not sing once she enters Bald-O's trailer. You see, Bald-O and I made a pact that anyone entering his residence must pick a song to sing so an issue has been brought up. How do I get J to do this? Should Bald-O and I go first, me doing "Love Shack" and Bald-O doing his amazing form of "Unchained Melody?" Yes, he is that damn good to which I just sit there getting all emotional.

Editor: "Hedgie, sweetie. You are so gay and don't even know it."

It's just a few too many feminine qualities that get my mouth in trouble so sometimes I feel like Lucky of Lucky Charms. Ya know, that leprauchan in the commercials? I always knew it was purple horseshoe, dammit!

On a rather odd note, my dogs poop 3 times a day and I am tired of flinging shit with my $30 pooper scooper everyday. When things are a bit upwind, you don't wanna know how many times the turds come back.

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