Yeah, I've had an interesting night of shocks. First of all, my brother once again broke up with his girlfriend. It shouldn't be that big of a deal to me but you have to meet this girl to get what I'm talking about. To give you an idea, the Ghostbusters' theme song plays when she's around.

"There's something strange in the neighborhood...."

A restraining order has been filed on her thanks to what she did to my brother last night. I'm pretty sure this girl didn't not beat him up but I do know that she destroyed his $400 cell phone after arguing about the fact that he did not pick up at one time she called.

Audience: (Gasp!!)

This ex-girlfriend of my brother's is very scary and the fact that she may do something in retaliation is in my mind. She did steal his license plate after a past break-up with him so I now worry about my doorbell ringing all day, phone ringing all day, and Ray Charles showing up in my room. Do you hear it?

"Ghostbusters!"

So, I warned J that if a girl comes up to her once she pulls into my driveway to just push her away. The funny thing is that J said she'd beat her up if this girl lays a hand on her. Wow! Once again, my type of girl to which you will find me with a bowl of mac n' cheese taking this chickfight in all while calling the rounds.

Me: "You go, girl! Pull her hair out! Whoo! Good gravy! Look at those boobs flying! Don't let go of her thong, just rip the damn thing out!"

Alas, humor can only do so much since this whole thing is quite serious. My brother's girlfriend is really psychotic to the point that it's more than a theme song that plays as she walks. I have to be on the lookout since my dogs are loose in the backyard. Ever heard of Fatal Attraction? Gawd, I was so freaked out about the poor wittle bunny.

Another issue is that my mother is taking off for 2 weeks due to my grandma being a pain in the ass. Yes, she's still pinching more than a lobster but not quite the clothespin we're looking for here. You see, my grandpa has the surgery moved from last Tuesday to this Friday. So, while my grandma is driving my dad nuts, her husband is back in the hospital with more problems. It never ends and I'm pretty much fucked in the head with worries.

To which J is handling me so well. I really don't know where I'd be without her at this time since she's calmed me quite a bit. It's funny how she doesn't see me getting all freaked out or anything so it must all be in my head.

Okay, there have been some questions so I'll answer them:

-J is 18 (soon to be 19) and lives with her mom in another town nearby.

-J is 5"3" and so cute.

-J likes to smack my booty and smash me into walls when I'm not looking.

-I think crack is wack.

-J is German and can speak some of the language.

-Sometimes, I climb trees and fling poo at cars when I have too much time on my hands.

Okay, so I hope that covers everything here. I met J in class to which she says that she was flirting with me since Day 2 but I'm so blind that it takes people to point it out.

Friend: "Dude, that girls is like totally kissing your fingers and.....oh....my, gawd, she's sucking on them! She likes you!"

Me: "Nah, she's just a friend that wants to be my lab partner."

Oh, I will not be seeing J til Saturday since Friday is pretty busy along with it being Girls Night Out for J and her best friend. Isn't that so sweet of me wanting those two to have their own fun while I go get annoyed by MR and his religious propoganda? I'm, like, such a good boyfriend, huh?

So, 2 weeks of watching Jimmy Kimmel with my Dorky Yorkies and listening to them blow ass while I giggle over Vanilla Wafers? Pizza on Fridays? J's sleeping over on Saturdays along with sex on other days? A psycho stalking my little brother? I can potty with the door open with curious dogs looking at me wondering how I use this thing? Using my fingers in the peanut butter jar instead of a spoon? Flipping switches as if it's Disco Night? Will I survive or have to be escorted out in a straight-jacket?

*Lips curl up to show a very big smirk*

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