but my head is spinning."

-Liz Phair

Nothing like starting an entry off from the lovely Liz Phair, the creater of such great indie songs like "Fuck And Run" or the radio fave, "Supernova." I've liked her ever since Kristan and I would have sex to that last song all while she'd mouth the words, "You fuck like a volcano and you're everything to me." Women with an interesting vocabulary are most interesting and should be dealt with extreme caution.

To which brings me to the point that I picked up the latest issue of Penthouse. I'm not big on this magazine but an interview with Liz Phair really gets my attention. What's interesting is how people are calling her a sellout ever since she went to a major record label and made catchier songs like "Why Can't I." I say just enjoy the music for what it is, music.

To me, a sellout is a band like Kiss in that all they really wanted to do is play 3 chords and sell products of themselves. Blech! Two songs by this band are the only ones I can handle without throwing up to Gene Simmons's capitalism, "Beth" and "Rock N Roll All Night." Those songs bring back so many memories thanks to me dating a girl named Beth in high school to which she got upset with me playing ball. Just listen to that song and you'd get an idea.

Hell, maybe you'd consider me a sellout for buying an issue of Penthouse but it was all for the article on Liz.

Editor: "Yeah.......right."

Oh, who am I kidding??? I looked at the issue and wasn't very impressed. Penthouse just looks pretty shitty when compared to Playboy, the best magazine ever produced. Playboy is also more tastefully done in how it presents the ladies since I'm more for having some things left to the imagination.

The problems I have with magazines like Penthouse, Hustler, and you could go on and on is that it's shot after shot of some woman with her legs completely spread open while she holds those pink lips apart. I'm fine with this in a way but to present to others that you should only be valued for what is in between your legs is creepy. I'm into the whole woman.

I remember the first time I ever saw Penthouse. It was way way back when I was in 5th grade or so. Someone had thrown a magazine into the street while I was outside at my grandparents'. Being curious, I picked it up to find pictures of women with their legs spread open with very close photos. Was I curious?

You're damn right, I was fucking curious as hell!!!! I'd never seen a real good picture of what's in between a woman's legs but the curiousity had to end sometime. Might as well be now.

Flipping through picture after picture of women, I learn that blowjobs are not a myth. There was a step by step segment of a woman taking a penis in her mouth.

Editor: "You sure do have a very good memory there, Hedgie. How come you didn't put this kind of amazement into studying those science books?"

That was the first time I had ever seen that women actually wanted to have penises in their mouths. For us males as kids, it was just a joke or something that hookers do. Gawd, I was so young and innocent then, huh?

Rolling Stone has a huge article on Bob Guccione, the main head honcho of Penthouse magazine. In it, we learn that he pretty much screwed himself by overspending and becoming a tyrant by cutting anyone off that disagreed with him. Penthouse is also the first naughty mag to show pubic hair. Bob also prided himself in being the first to show erect penises since the later added sex scenes. So, I guess this is a magazine for everyone, huh?

Guess what!?! Kmart used to sell Penthouse!!!! I cannot imagine walking into that piece of shit store to find that magazine next to Good Housekeeping and Martha Stewart's Living.

Editor: "I think, dear Hedgie, that someone has not kept up to date on the latest prison roll call."

Oh, enough of this nudie magazine shit for now. J is coming over after work for a little bit of this and a little bit of that. You know the drill, my tongue and lips end up so tired. The look on J's face is so worth it. I'm a dirty, dirty boy with such an innocent look of love.

I've gotta mention that I am so sick of basketball now. You turn on 5 channels to find college team after college team playing in some far off city. Well, it's either that or watching MTV's "Making the Band 2" to see a moronic piece of shit band called what else, Da Band. Blech! They are so going to be forgotten and hopefully soon. Couldn't P. Diddly come up with a better name????

What else did I pick up today? I got Vanity Fair since Keira Knightley is interviewed. LOVE HER! This is the kind of girl I admire in that she shuns Hollywood's crapola and does her own thing without a publicist.

The newest issue of Playboy is out with Rachel Hunter. As usual, a celeb keeps the pubes pretty hidden. Sad. I'm just not a breast man so I expect to see how the hedges are trimmed and the usual sexy ass. Interesting tattoos on Rachel, though.

Oh, I went and told someone that I worked with that I had a crush on her for so long. Doesn't that feel good? Not surprisingly, it was Amanda, the girl I mentioned in the past. *Yes, Sammy, I sent a picture of her* She laughed because people we worked with told her that they saw how interested I was in her. Apparently, at 5am, it's hard for a girl to know that a guy has a crush on her.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07