So, why is that women are not allowed to express their sexuality in this world? What I am trying to ask is why men are more accepted in knowing they enjoy sex but women can't be quite as vocal. It's clear to me that the only girlfriend I can actually handle is one that is comfortable in telling me how much she misses/wants/needs sex.

When I was growing up, girls were never allowed to say that they were sexually curious. It was so taboo and any girl willing to suggest the need to view penises was called a "slut" or "whore." Funny how I was always vocal about how much I enjoyed seeing vaginas but little Maggie.......well....here goes....

In 1st Grade, Peter and I were looking at old World War 2 books from our library. Yes, I am in a Catholic school to which guns and war was easily attainable in the library but anything remotely based on sex was banned. Well, Maggie, one of my classmates, decided to join us underneath the table as we went through these old books with pictures of the war. As a boy, I loved seeing the pictures of guns that I would later study due to my being banned from such knowledge at home.

*Hedgehoggy grew up with the thought that sex was beautiful but violence was bad so he could not watch violent movies. He had to BEG his parents to see First Blood but was banned from The Terminator for years and years.*

In the back of the World War 2 books, there were pictures of statues. Many were naked guys. Peter and I laughed at the sight of these penises and the occasional breast. Let me tell ya, our laughing was pretty loud. Now comes the really weird part and complete shock for a 1st Grader.

Maggie, also looking at these penises, suddenly told us that she didn't have one. So, Peter and I asked about what she did have. After Maggie basically shrugged her shoulders, she lifted her dress and pulled down her underwear. What I saw stunned me!

Nothing. Not a damn thing was there! I mean, Peter and I obviously had something but this girl had nothing. It was almost as if her penis fell off.

*Hedgehoggy starts laughing really hard*

Our teacher, hearing the laughter underneath the table, came over and was horrified about what happened. Maggie got in huge trouble for exposing herself to us while Peter and I were banned from getting World War 2 books from the library. For some reason, I cannot get this event out of my head because it was just the beginning of seeing women being looked down upon than guys.

Remember when you were young? Okay, really, really young? Weren't you curious about the opposite sex's characteristics? Well, we were and as natural as can be but poor little Maggie gets sent to the principal's office for showing us what little girls are somewhat made of. Lucky for her, the principal at that time was so nice and more understanding than the one that overthrew her.

*Trust me. I got to know that evil principal as I grew up in Catholic school.*

In a few days, J comes back and I don't think we will be able to contain ourselves. I'm impressed with how comfortable she is with sex, unlike a few of my friends that describe just about everything as "gross" and "demeaning." Hey, I may not be into assplay but I'm not going to criticize what others enjoy.

Wanna know an old bodybuilding trick? One of the guys in my gym wears shirts that are mediums when he obviously needs a X-Large. This makes his body look so much bigger even though he is obviously on steroids. You'll see him walk with his muscles flexed and stop at any mirror to pull up his Medium sized shirt to look at himself. The sounds you hear in the background are me barfing, okay?

The body's look can be manipulated. For instance, I look so small when I wear a shirt that's XX-Large, like today's. That way, no one looks at me and bugs me about my working out. Many days, I just want to get my errands done so I be gone.

Being a boyfriend can be hard work.

There is this girl that works out in my gym that I keep itching to call her by the name of a person on Diaryland I keep thinking of her as. I'm sorry my dear farting trumpeter but every time I see her, I think of her as you. Since I'm quite protective of her privacy, I'm only saying things she will know what I'm talking about. I'm sure the guys that jack off on the subway at such an early hour thanks to the lovely sight of her would have a hard time keeping their zippers zipped. There are other people I see that I would find myself saying:

"That looks like so-and-so from Diaryland thanks to the words I read."

I know it's just weird to do but sometimes we place an image in our heads to fit the words, just like I do when reading Harry Potter books. It's a grand ol' place, my head.

Since J's birthday is VERY close, I have had to find a nice restaurant to take her to. That's been taken care of but I'd really like to find a nice gift to give her since I'm such a sap for presenting things to people at times. J's so anti-materialistic that this is so fucking difficult. What do I get a girl that doesn't see owning things as fun? Don't be surprised if she says that a kiss is just as good. I love kissing J.

My mom will be coming home sometime soon, either Friday or Saturday. Although this is great, she has threatened to get rid of Bonnie and Clyde by giving them to someone. The reason is that we will have 5 dogs since my grandma's is going to be living with us. Get ready for a huge battle between my mom and I since I love Bonnie and Clyde like no one else can. We've had some good times here since they've been left in my care. I could do without the poop they hide in the dining room. Sneaky little shits......

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07