That's how I'd describe how I felt when faced with the sudden statement from J, today. She wants to break up and I'm a cross between torn about it and in actual realization that this is best for her.

As we all know, J is very busy thanks to school, homework, work, and her mother's demands. As I told her many times before, I don't know how she does it and that's big on the fact that her mother pretty much makes J do more than she needs to do. How many have moms that suddenly demand you to cook, clean, and do laundry all because they don't feel like it so they can sit around watching TV? That's definitely not my mom's actions!

So, J and I have broken up all due to her having very little time. There is the added poison that she is behind in all her classes thanks to a massive load of math homework so this is the big factor as to why I agree with the break-up. In all honesty, I just want what's best for her and I really don't fit in the picture for now.

What was funny was how surprised J was when I went to see her today.

"Didn't you get my email?"

You see, J emailed me a long email from class about the need to break-up since she didn't want to wait til I took her out for her birthday. All I wanted to do was show her by suprising her before class that I'm not mad at all. So, I wrapped my arms around J and she found her way to my chest as I held her.

This is indeed a weird break-up, huh? Where's the yelling? Drama? Name calling? Accusations? I'm used to very sinister girls with very shady doings so it was a shock to find a girl so nice. It also adds to me not wanting anything bad for her. I know I am just so fucking nice that it kills me.

So, I still have dinner with J tomorrow but it will be at her house. She's cooking for me once we've had a long talk about some things going on in my family that have me really angry (I'll get into it someday soon). Hopefully, J's not boiling a rabbit like in Fatal Attraction. Ever seen that movie?

Maybe I will feel different tomorrow or maybe J and I will be back together. I doubt all this because I know I'm sensitive to finding something good for once. You really should have seen what women put me through in college.

To which brings me to another surprise. I've been dropped from another Fave's List. No big deal. I've read this girl, measured her, weighed her, and found her to be wanting. Like my fellow Diarylander said, "It sounded like a 5 year old just decided to write." Pins and needles. Nice to know you. Goodbye.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07