Okay, contrary to what SOME people may think, I am not arrogant. There are times in my diary that I may sound like it but I have more self hatred than I let on. Just watch me avoid mirrors every now and then even though there are times they help.

However, there are times where I cannot avoid mirrors. My gym has them all around to which I find myself just wondering who's looking at me or where a friend of mine is so once I finish a set, I'll be there. You learn to use mirrors as time goes by because I'm sure others cannot stand to look at themselves either. We may be a little vain but....

Okay, I am flattered about some of the little things I come across. A big one is to see a kid, possibly a teenager, copy my workout in hopes of being as strong as I am. Although, I don't consider myself to be this way, you do wonder as you bench press over 300 pounds:

"What the fuck has happened to me?"

You see, I adopted the stay hungry attitude that Arnold Schwarzenegar coined in which there is always room for improvement. Never settle so that the need to release stress is there with you in the gym forever. Those that get bored in working out tend to think that their muscles will always be there or they just give up hope. I've never liked my body so I will be in the gym til I'm 90. It'll be me and bunch of old farts still kickin'.

So, why am I telling you this? I got into an odd yet uncomfortable conversation with that old guy that stares at sorority girls. Oh, you should have seen the smirk on his face when one was on the treadmill next to him. Of course, I smiled back but I'm the kind of guy that thinks 35 years of marriage should be thought of more than the tits that are flying on the treadmill on the right.

This older guy came up to me for our usual conversation of just bullshittin' around. He told me and I was a bit shocked to hear him say this:

"If I looked as good as you, I'd either wear a tank-top everyday or I'd just go naked. You look like you get pussy everyday."

Now, hear me out on this. I felt uncomfortable due to my humbleness as to how I look. First of all, I am very modest and wear shirts that are XX-Large to hide my chest and arms. My shorts and pants are generally very loose so you'd see my Calvins peek out but that's all for comfort even though my....uh...ass is said to be chiseled nicely. Just ask J about that one since she liked to get a good feel of it.

I've never based a girl on her body. Ever. The most beautiful girl in my gym is someone I have no interest in at all due to how snotty she is to others and how amazingly dumb she is. I'm talking about DUMB to which a rock would do better on Jeopardy than her. So, all of these thoughts have me not wanting a girl to get into me just because of the way I look.

Reasons:

-Jen

-"She Who Shall Not Be Named"

-B

-Beth (the college one, not my high school sweetheart)

Now, I may wear very little when I workout all due to how much I sweat in there thanks to a workout not many are willing to do since they will all need to feel as if their body is in dire need of a repair and that's just the first 15 minutes. Trust me. A friend of mine was dying to work out with me and he nearly collapsed at the end while I was rocking my world with sit-ups.

Some of me does wonder if I worry about stupid shit. Let's face it. Even though I love girls with a major independent streak or knowledge of art, the bow and arrow, and masculine traits, my attention is still captured in looks first. Brains keep me there, folks. So, maybe I do need to do a little "advertising" once in a while. It is close to summer, after all.

It's so funny to me in how there are many people that don't know all of me. I'm sure guys in my gym would be shocked to know I love comics more than the latest porn video. I'd rather hang with Bald-O than some drunken sorority girl telling me that she'd let me "put it anywhere I want." I admire darkness as well as light. I may not be religious but I admire those that have a passion for it but don't pressure me to join. I'm into things that many people don't know about because I just have this fascination with everything! I just don't share it all because I don't know many people with as much of an open mind as I have.

I know, I know. I make myself sound like this amazing messiah but I'm just someone that has strong beliefs in experiences making someone so much better. I've lost a lot of close friends so I know what it's like to feel alone but lose myself to a new world that no one understands. However, I will not walk around naked unless the weather is warm enough and there is a sprinkler nearby.

*Slaps head in amazement*

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

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