Not only do I have Kill Bill (I won't buy it because a bigger edition will come out once Kill Bill Vol. 2 is released) but also a book that had me silently giggling to myself. It's called "Walter the Farting Dog" and there is a lesson somewhere within this children's story about a dog that blows ass a bit too often.

If you've ever owned a dog, you know how they tend to pass gas every now and then. Jethro's sounds like a whistle while Ellie-Mae's is more of the "silent but deadly" type. Bonnie and Clyde's are silent as well but vary in how awful the room smells.

I haven't completely read "Walter the Farting Dog" but I plan to. All I know is that there is a lesson in there that the girls in my class weren't as interested in. Chad's girlfriend found it amusing, though. Gosh darn it, we need a good bathroom read, nowadays!

Remember when I mentioned that the newest issue of Playboy has Pam *Blah!* Anderson? Well, the magazine redeemed itself with 2 great articles. The first, me being a baseball fan, was about the steroid scandel within Major League Baseball. The next.....

Many of you know my fascination with women's sexuality, right? Well, Playboy did a good job in having an article on vibrators. I know! They let a female writer test out many different types of vibrators to find the one that works best. The whole article was cute and quite informative so every guy should respect the fact that women do masturbate with glee. There's a possibility that I will get more into the actual article.

I don't know why I am telling this so it's probably because I am very open about my love of women but one of my fantasies is to enjoy seeing my lover use a vibrator. It's weird since most guys are so scared of being replaced by a piece of machinery but as one of my girlfriends said:

"There is no little gizmo out there that can match that swollen cock of yours."

Editor: "(Ahem).....that's a little too much info."

Whatever. I'm sure some religious fucks that have found this diary have now left so.......

You see, there is this recurring dream of mine that I just get home from work to find my girlfriend/wife/lover sitting on the sofa with her knees up in the air using her vibrator. I'll sit directly across and enjoy the show til she motions me to drop to my knees right in front of her. Letting me lick every drop from within her that's accumulated, I'm hers. I've always loved licking "honey" and to help in licking the clitoris as much as possible so it's no surprise.

Kristan always told me that to drink from a woman's vagina is good since she is sharing her "lifeforce" with me. It just fascinates me to see a woman use her vibrator and let me help by using my tongue at periods of time along with my fingers. No, this does not de-masculinize a male but shows how devoted he is to her sexuality. Deal with it.

Ever wondered my Top 20 Favorite Women?

Well, look no further as I unveil the last 10 and soon I'll finish it.

20. Demi Moore (I know there are people that say she is a bitch but I like her dedication to certain flicks like G.I.Jane and A Few Good Men. She looks fantastic, although with the help of plastic surgery-obviously. Funny how she also looks like my ex-girlfriend, Kristan)

19. Naomi Watts (Seen The Ring? Mulholland Drive? Good movies and I like how spunky she looks. It's also apparent that she's not in Hollywood just for the money)

18. Maria Menounas (She hosts ET on VH1 and I can't get enough of how cute she is, not overly done.)

17. Molly Sims (A model that shows how much fun life is. Molly doesn't seem to take herself too seriously and it shows in her interviews)

16. Amy Smart (Saw her in Varsity Blues and never looked back. It's gotta be the character that I'm talking about in that flick because I can still quote lines from her.)

15. Scarlett Johannson (She's cool and unique with her taste in doing movies. You can see her love of Lost In Translation all while being so offbeat in Ghost World.)

14. Jennifer Connelly (Seen Phenomenon? Freaky flick that's hard to get. Seen Labyrinth? Dangerous muppets and David Bowie with a codpiece are not too weird for you? Jennifer is gorgeous)

13. Jessica Biel (Fuck that show, 7th Heaven! This girl was made to scream like in Texas Chainsaw Massacre and to hunt vampires with Blade in the newest sequel. Oh, she uses my tools, a bow. My new tough girl to add in my love of werewolves and vampires flicks)

12. Adrianne Lima (One of the cutest Victoria's Secret models. What eyes and succulent booty she has! Ever since I saw her walk the runway, I've not forgotten about her)

11. Brooke Burke (It takes a very tough woman to host Wild On E! while drunken fucks try to cramp your style but I like her. She's got a wonderful personality all while flaunting those abs that make me jealous.)

So, that is the last 10 but the set that I will reveal soon is a bit more perplexing because I think about these girls a lot due to their choices in movies and what they've said in interviews. Long time readers of mine shouldn't be surprised by some of my choices.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07