To end the confusion, the commercial for Sprint in which a little man dressed in a giant tube sock is caught stealing a woman's socks is fucking hilarious. All while including those words I find myself saying over and over, "Dee dee, dee" as the little guy shakes his ass is best summed up as a mystery solved with humor. Yes, camera phones (Just why do we need a camera with our phone?) are weird to me but just this once will I allow a great commercial some time to my already cluttered head of genius incentives. C'mon, this is art!

Look, I already know that people find my hobby of collecting Air Jordans to be a completely insane idea. However, I can help but love these shoes with their unique designs and feel on mah tootsies. There are some other people that agree with me that the comfort of Air Jordans is a hell of a lot better than regular shoes.

So, I have to leave at midnight tonight to pick up my brand new pairs of AJs thanks to a midnight madness sale. Stores are only allowed to sell them on the following Saturday. The scary thing is that this store is in the bad part of my town so who knows if I am coming back.......

I'd like to reintroduce myself, folks. I'm not sure why but it's possibly because of the fact that a new person picked me up to read. When I do this with a diary, I tend to want to get an idea as to who they are so I scout out Profiles and Bios.

My name is Mike and I'm known as "Hedgehoggy" or "Hedgie" thanks to the nickname given to me by Scott, my old RA, describing my spiked hair and very weird attitude of anything goes.

I have had many nicknames in my life: Spikey Mikey (hair once again), Jordan (my shoes, obviously),Pussy (the boys gave me this one for being so sentimental), and the occasional Mikey Mike (I...uh....workout, ya know?). Funny how I've forgotten some of the nicknames but I did drink a lot for 2 years in college thanks to living with Bald-O.

I graduated from college last summer but employment is a pain to find not just because of a bad economy but also because I've had experiences with very nasty bosses. So, I am careful as to who I want to work for as well as not wanting to end up so miserable.

I've found life after college to be quite dull. There's no one to debate the uniqueness of a warm fajita at 3am. No more insane drinking games like Century or a friend's latest relationship drama. No more having to be interrogated as to where you slept last thanks to meeting a girl that somehow turns into a complete psycho after 3 months. I'm not sure why I miss all this.

Now, I deal with a large assortment of obese people walking in front of me to bogart that last bag of Cheetos as I scour the grocery aisles. Far too many old ladies have decided to play chicken with me as I drive. My idea of tanning is more along that lines of standing outside waiting for my dogs to pee. It;'s a wonderful life, I tell ya!

No one can find a celebrity that looks like me, talks like me, or acts like me. However, a parent once described me in college as being like Tyler Durden of Fight Club, a great flick. Bald-O and I agreed that I was very much like Tweeder, the wide receiver in the movie Varsity Blues. Yeah, I was a goofy lil' shit but with a very big heart.

My ex-girlfriend and the major love of my life til she moved away to get her PhD. in Political Science gave me the best description:

"You are a passionate person. This does not necessarily mean sex. What this means is you think with your heart as well as your head."

I've loved hearing that from a 29 year old woman that took my virginity at 19. How many other guys can state this?

Physically, I'm best described as spiked hair, wide shoulders, massive chest, small waist, blue eyes, thick arms, thin fingers on large hands (my mom calls 'em "piano playing hands."), and large feet thanks to a 11.5 shoe size.

The clothes I wear are pretty simple. I've got a major love of retro t-shirts with baggy A & F pants/shorts. My shirts tend to be in the XX-Large size but I'm slowly deciding to let people see my arms once again. Trust me. I do get stared at and people stop to ask me about my workout habits.

My shoes, although I have a crazy obsession for them, are almost always Air Jordans. I like wearing things that not many other people have and these retros are released in very limited quantities. Watch how many black guys look at my shoes and you'll see. At 15 pairs and climbing, I'll never stop, especially for a pair of AJ 4's, the ultimate design.

My music taste is generally rock from the 70's and 80's with my tastes being more of Guns N Roses, Poison, and Def Lepard back when hair metal ruled. Gawd, I miss that stuff so much thanks to it being more about fun than making money. Times have changed, I guess.

Believe it or not, I love to be soothed so The Corrs and Sade play on occasion while a mix of Gary Jules and his haunting "Mad World" is found on repeat. That song from Donnie Darko's soundtrack has temporarily replaced "Cry You Outta Me" by Sozi (Teaching Miss Tingle's soundtrack).

For me, I've felt restless for some time due to being pretty wild in college and finding myself with no need to rebel. It's rare to find me in bars nowadays. I'm more into haunting bookstores for a good story or 2 even though I have a major distaste for coffee.

I love my dogs, Jethro, Ellie Mae, Bonnie, Clyde, and the new addition, Buffy. You'll find me sitting on a couch with 1 or 2 of them with its head in my lap. It's hard to describe the bond you have with an animal but I'm sure that other owners understand.

As many people have found, I am very vocal about my love of sex. In no way am I selfish or only use a girl for this. It's funny how some people thought that because I was seeing many girls that I was this complete sex freak or something. Nope, I'm very vanilla when it comes to all that. No anal sex but pretty much anything else goes but it's my absolute love of oral sex that has gotten my mouth in trouble too many times. It's the old debate of my male friends thinking that it is gross or demeaning. Funny how MOST girls smile when I mention my love of oral sex.

I was very comfortable in stating how much I love sexuality and took a few classes that teachers were highly amused at how much I would admit things. Hell, I led a discussion on blowjobs once that soon started to wake up a sleeping class. Yes, I know that many women have not even experienced an orgasm even while having many partners. It's sad that so many guys are selfish or do not bother to learn how to make love to a girl.

My love of movies is best described as odd. From the violence of Quentin Tarentino's movies to the girliness of a chick flick, I am there. A good example is my eager anticipation of the movie Love Actually due next Tuesday. How can I not? It's got Keira Knightley, my favorite actress.

I've seen too many movies to just label in a Top 10 but Donnie Darko, Fight Club, Aliens, Ginger Snaps, Dog Soldiers, Empire Strikes Back, and Lord Of the Rings Trilogy will be a good start for now. Talk amongst yourselves.

I'm not a summer person no matter how great it is to wear an old cut up t-shirt with baggy shorts and a pair of AJs is. For some reason, I dread a major amount of sweat unless it's in the gym. Fall is my time of year due to long sleeves and smart movies as I cleverly pointed out in the past. The coolness of the air while driving down a long road with the changing color of leaves conjure up good memories.

You may call me a "gym rat" but the whole process of working out helps me sleep, eat what I want, look better, feel better, and feel like I accomplished something when I beat my old weight press. Everyone has their talent, this one is mine that just happens to be healthy.

I'm in the gym 4 to 5 days a week with Friday always being my day off no matter what. My feelings are best described as hating the fact that I am in the gym but after 10 minutes, I'm as happy as a piglet in shit. It'll take a lot to get me out.

You might think I am obnoxious or a loud mouth but I've quieted down quite a bit. Gone are the days of running around wild and looking for a sprinkler for my little heiney to run through but there is the occasion that I just might do it.

You see, I have a fear of people leaving since so many people I have met move on in life. Joe, my gym partner, decided to start stripping in another town. Jason, the friend from 3 years ago, will leave in a month for a new job. No one stays and I keep finding myself attached but then upset at the emptiness. It feels like a curse so I tend to not want to meet people, at times.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07