"Remember, there are babes in the woods"

Well, it's been a major shit-storm with my mom and I thanks to my grandparents' childish behavior. Now, I normally don't cuss around my mother but I let out an "F" word and some "Shits" here and there. Just why will I not cuss in front of my mother but will let some major 4-letter words fly around everyone else?

You see, my grandparents are fearful of pissing off the cousins if they give my mother the opportunity to take what is hers. From a very nice Winnie the Pooh cookie jar to a pooper scooper (Yes, you read that right but THIS is ours to fling shit with!), we want what is rightfully ours instead of letting some southern hicks get 'em.

How pathetic is this? I am furious with how my grandparents are treating my mother in not letting her get what is ours. Afraid of pissing off cousins? Gee, what about your daughter? It's so nice of you to consider how my mother, under an extreme amount of stress thanks to work and her retirement, is not having her feelings considered while you let these fucks go an loot. Consider me not a person that will be visiting anytime soon, Grandma. It hurts even more knowing most of my family took over a month's time to take care of my grandpa after his surgery.

*Blows raspberry*

As you can see, I have a very fucked up bunch of relatives and now we can possibly consider my grandparents in there. It's been years since I've seen my mom cry but lately, it seems like everyday. So, fuck 'em!

No Van Helsing-ing this weekend due to my gay friend, Nick, being in pursuit. In pursuit, you say? Well, I like to call it:

"Wookin' pa nuv in aw da wong pwases."

I'm assuming you don't understand that sentence so I'll do it in how moronic Christians say it.

"Lookin' for love in all the wrong places."

Yes, Nick is going off this weekend to look for love in Chicago and then will be back to drool over Hugh Jackman while I think of running off with Kate Beckinsale's knickers.

It's kind of funny, really. Here I will be in a theater watching Van Helsing and instead of debating the uber hotness of the female character or two, I'll be listening to Nick describing Hugh's ass and various other features. Ah, but I will be in bliss and a misty eye or two in dreaming of Kate. It's like a fucked up scenario, huh?

The really odd thing is that even though Nick and I both have mixed feelings about Van Helsing, we are going. I'm not too keen on the werewolf's CGI effects and the idea of it dying. Long live da wolves! Nick's more upset in that it can be a corny movie and not as adventurous as it could be.

C'mon! You've got way too many monsters in a flick so how the hell are they going to do this? Love Actually had too many romances and characters to the point that it seemed like the director got bored with some. I'm not dissing the flick because I really loved it but just minor issues.

Thank you, summer! We see many jogging bras being modeled here. Whoo! Boobies go up and down and.....oh, car crash! Soon, males will be wearing the latest blinders.

They ought to model sports bras for guys because my pecs really go about here and there. Even the treadmill, with my cut-up Corona t-shirt, has them flip out so that I have to put them back in. My nipples are a body part I am not for so maybe I just need masking tape. Girls don't seem to mind.

Well, it's nice to see Keira Knightley get some exposure. She's in Teen People (Shut....up) and Premiere this month. As a result, I took the quiz and found out that I DO NOT backstab. Go me. However, I still have trouble finding out where all the hot guys are. Hey, I did it for Nick.

Isn't it interesting that girls really find gay guys so much more fun to be around? Well, if you are female and saw Nick, you'd see that this tall former underwear model is something to fawn over. I'm the short musclee guy wearing retro shirts and baggy shorts with my Air Jordans and pretty blue eyes that is so animated but seems to attract psychos and dumb skater girls that talk like Avril all while yelling how punk they are. At least I don't scratch my balls in public.

My presentation? DONE! Nothing like standing in a room of just you and a video camera, huh? The teacher said I am great facial expressions in acting out my story of a mouse going to school. Gee, why am I not suprised on the goofiness expressed? I get that a lot.

So, I'm outta here to stew in my frustrations of older relatives and hoping that I venture into some woods to find a babe as hot as Kate Beckinsale or Keira Knightley. Who am I kidding? Nick'll get 'em!

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07