Well, I just finished my Sign Language Final in which I most likely missed 2 out of 100 possible points. Easy all because of my practice throughout the years of spelling the alphabet in so many seconds before the traffic light turned green or red. Speaking to deaf people by suprising them that I know Sign Language. Using what I know to sign to a friend or 2 from across the room. It all helps in keeping you from forgetting what you learned in a foreign language.

So, I finished at the exact same time as J. Did she say, "goodbye?" Nope, not one word was uttered between us as she stormed off on with her phone at her ear in the destination of her car. Now, do you wonder why I wished we were outside in the cold snow and I've got a giant slush ball filled with rocks just waiting to nail J?

All of this is amusing to me because as other classmates passed, they each said goodbye to me and meant it. The lady with a suicidal daughter said she would miss my goofy attitude towards life along with my embarassingly funny t-shirts that even the teacher comments on. The girls that sat in the back waved at me as they left. Nothing from J.

So, I've learned my lesson here after discussing all of this with Aleccia, the other classmate dating that used to be dating the guy sitting in the corner behind me. She found it surprising that J didn't say anything but understood. The guy just suddenly stopped talking to Aleccia as well after all of this major flirting and being a fun person. Cold and chilly was the response later on, just like I got from J.

Aleccia and Hedgehoggy: "Fuck 'em!"

Aleccia will be back to see me since she has a children's book, "Tea With A Rhino," that she used for her Sign Language Final. The book belonged to me but her presentation is still not done due to her mother being ill.

So, I would like to get off all this dismal shit and say that I attended Van Helsing last night with Nick, whom bit his thumb many times once Hugh Jackman made some very flashy appearances.

Okay, if you have a strong desire to escape all logic, think that there are monsters underneath your bed, enjoy the wonderful vocabulary of Frankenstein's Monster, think that the Wolf Man can set fire to a stagecoach with his hair, and have the tendency to giggle and awe at all the right places, this movie is for you!

After walking out of the theater, Nick and I found ourselves laughing at so many things throughout Van Helsing. Hell, the last 45 minutes were so funny that all 4 people in the theater were the cause of this noise. Van Helsing is very much a summer movie that you find yourself needing on a day so scorchingly hot that you'd rather be in a cold theater.

What I liked about Van Helsing is how it just showed how full of shit it was that it was begging you to just have fun with it. After all, if you are involved with a movie that deals with werewolves and vampires, you're already escaping reality.

My favorite parts:

-Hyde. I loved the baddie of Dr. Jeckel/Hyde. The CGI in this case was pretty good and I found it fun to watch Van Helsing catch him and eventually kill him.

-Dracula's 3 brides. Wow! I liked it that each had her own identity and played themselves as cold/heartless demons with a lust for blood. I'm not a breast man but seeing these beautiful tits did make me want to suckle.

-Kate Beckinsale. As good as she looked, I thought the outfit belonged in a pirate movie. Kate wasn't used as much as she should have been but I did like her toughness. Well, she did have a brother that just happened to be a werewolf so major points for that.

-The best character was Frankenstein's Monster. It was priceless to see him become a human popsicle near the end. I found myself liking him more and more.

The Bad

-Too much CGI, especially on The Wolf Man. See Dog Soldiers or The Howling for the best werewolf look ever.

-Some of the action scenes were so fast that even I lost my head as to where we were now. The castle swinging was completely outrageous.

-Dracula was dull. Loved the giant bat but hated the actor. Just because you have long hair does not make you suited to play the real Prince Of Darkness.

What Nick loved, and caused him to bite his thumb a lot, was seeing Hugh Jackman in a torn pair of pants all of which caused a part of his ass cheek to appear. He wanted Hugh right then and there, topless and showing major ass. Never underestimate the power of a gay male for he knows what he wants.

What I thought was interesting was how originally good the plot of Dracula (Wrong actor!) needing Dr. Frankenstein's inventions to bring his brides' children to life. These things look like green gremlins but hey, only a mother could appreciate this so who am I to dis.

Nick: "More ass, Hugh!"

I'm hoping the director's intentions were to bring about laughter because the 2 other people in the theater were really going at it with this. Yup, just us 4 with the whole room to ourselves. It also brings me to the wish that if Kristan attended instead of Nick, there would be some major sex going on when the dialogue gets too heavy. Those seats would be mighty sticky.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07