It's quiet in the house due to my parents and little brother being gone. They all went to see my grandparents down south and to confront the cousins. Believe me, I am dying to know what has happened as a result!

The reason why I am here is because it's just too much for my mom to take the other 4 dogs (Buffy went since she was my grandma's dog) in which much fighting ensues. Plus, there is that added factor that they are NOISEY.

So, I've spent my day doing little things here and there, namely getting a very clean smelling room and having a long hot bath without hearing my dogs' nails sliding up and down asking when I'm going to feed them. Heaven is a tub full of very hot water and seeing your nipples get all perky while the rest of you is underwater.

Since I haven't done so in a while, I called Bald-O to tell him what's been going on with the cousins. It's been a while since since I've heard that southern voice that just begs to say, "Yee-haw" and "Howdy y'all." Bald-O doesn't find it amusing when I mimic this, though.

When I call up Bald-O, the usual words come out:

-"Fuck her!" (usually a girl has done us wrong so we say that to end the conversation on her)

-"You gettin' any?" (what we say when we ask if the other is having sex) My mom's interprettaion and I swear this is true because she called up Bald-O and asked, "You gettin' any looooooovin?"

-"Whatcha' doin'?" (when Bald-O or I wonder what the other is up to)

-"I've gotta take a shit." (This is the part where after talking to Bald-O, he mentions his bowel movements so the phone conversation is done)

Interpret it how you want but boys sure do talk to each other differently when they call each other, huh? What's even stranger is that my mom will call him, at times to just chat about teaching since Bald-O teaches 3rd or 5th Grade (I forgot which). Hell, if my mom answers, they chat for some time before I get to talk. It's no wonder my mom loves this guy!

So, it's been pretty quiet here in this household all after waking up to a very cloudy sky and a slight cold wind. At this time, it's much less cloudy with just a tiny ounce of sun peeking its way out. What a good day for baseball, at least in my opinion.

What made this day really....uh....odd was finding my little brother's hidden porn collection. Yes, all while seeing whether he had taken any items from my room, I came across 3 videos in the closet. Looks like the local porno store had a sale of 3 videos for $50.

Like I've said before, I'm not big on porn but I will definitely check out things if presented to me with opportunities. It's a good thing because I've seen some of the funniest shit on porn from my old college roommates like Jenna Jameson taking "bathroom sex" a little too far and how to make an omelette while getting a blowjob. Fun stuff!

The one video of my brother's that got me curious was "Fresh Young Meat." Basically, the title says it all, along with the box of a bunch of girls that look barely 18. Tssk, tssk, whisk, whisk.

The porn's basic plot was that 3 guys would pick up girls off the street and bring them back to their apartment. Since I've always loved to see what people do to decorate their places, I laughed as I saw Austin Powers posters along with Britney Spears ones. The 55-inch TV was nice but the rest of the place was tacky, very tacky to the point that I don't know why a girl would want to panty drop there.

So, my thoughts on what I just saw?

-Guys with large egos have small very thin dicks. It was fun to see these girls that were "taken off the streets" (Yeah.....right) trying to withstand from laughing as each guy's meat stick was revealed. Being a guy of size, I laughed, too.

-It seems that these guys didn't mind it when their cum flew all over the place, ceiling, nightstand, bed, etc. but when a girl needs to sit down, there has to be a towel underneath her. These guys don't like it when the girls leave wet spots on the carpet or bed. Very amusing. I never minded when Kristan, Jen, or J left wet spots on the bed. Hell, it smelled much better.

-Girls that will suck a dick that has just been in another girl's asshole make me fast forward. Yuck! I'm not for anal sex and I'm especially not for possibly making a girl sick from that kind of anal placement.

-Guys that team up to have sex with 1 girl and then precede to high-five each other are......sad. Funny but sad. I'm guessing it was to score for the team but I lost that somewhere.

-People just don't seem to take their shoes off! It's fucking hilarious to see a girl being rammed by some guy all while you see her still in high heels. However, I can understand why one guy kept his shoes and socks on while having outdoor sex. Poison ivy is not funny but seeing flies land on a girl's twat is.

-Slapping a girl with your dong is a little weird and not proper ettiquete. You must ask her if she would like to hold it, first. Manners are lost when shooting a porno movie, especially when the guy held up this girl's thong to show all the "wet spots" and pee stains. Once again, manners are forgotten.

-One guy had the palest dick that you couldn't help but notice this. There was no color to it so I wondered if this girl thought it was possibly dead.

"We can't do much more for it, Jim. It's dead."

Now, I thought I've seen it all from porn or my own sexual experiences but I was wrong. One girl did the most amazing thing in flexing her asshole. These guys made it known that they found a girl with this amazing talent and I'll be darned. This is so something they'd show their mothers.

Consider this a very raunchy entry or not but porn is just a weird thing to me. You could say that after relizing that seeing this video didn't make me hard. It's like you don't consider porn as a part of life but you can't look away when it's presented to you. I'm guessing that it's a part of human curiousity because sex is fun and shouldn't be taken so serious that it becomes boring. If you had told me at the time I was 13 to 17 that sex would eventually be boring, I wouldn't have believed you.

Well, I hope some haven't fainted at my what I've viewed as a result of my parents being gone. Boys are weird but I did NOT pull a Tom Cruise in that I am running around the house in my underwear all while singing showtunes. That will be after 9pm and parental discretion is advised because I've been known to wiggle my weiner to entertain others.

- - 2009-07-07

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