*Good thing I woke up because I love Counting Crows music video to the Shrek 2 soundtrack! Love it! It played on VH1 this morning as I cooled off.*

I'm not sure why but I've always been a morning person. When I was a little kid, I'd get antsy about going out to play but everyone else slept til after 10am. Fuckin' hell it was to see me bounce off of walls all while waiting for my best friend, Mikey, to wake up and head on out for some 'splorin'.

Yeah, it was a bit like the comic strip, Calvin & Hobbes. Everytime I would read it, I'd say to myself, "That was Mikey and me." The really weird part is I'm a bit of both characters, Calvin for his occasional belief that the world was his and Hobbes for the rational part.

So, I lay in bed til about 8:15am just staring up at the ceiling wondering if I am ever going to go anywhere due to a completely shitty economy, where the jobs sure as hell aren't in this town and whether I am taking advantage of my full useless potential. I'll go along with Calvin, today.

"Who gives a flying fuck!?!"

Dammit, I've got chicks that are soon to hatch and they're gonna need me. I'm somebody's mamma even if I carry a tallywacker in my shorts and no tits. These baby quail are gonna need someone to prepare them for the world and I'm just the man to do it!

So, my morning ritual of waking up early and then eating a breakfast that would bore an American to tears of cereal (no milk) and orange juice. Only a British actor would admire my taste. Where is John Cleese when you need him, huh?

Once breakfast is done, I lay flat on my back in front of the TV to get my damn sit-ups done and over with. To many, it's plain hell but if done right, the feeling in my pelvis is so fucking good along with my stomach's supreme feeling of steel. Is it any wonder why J kept saying, "Gawd, you're hard!"?

After all this complete nonsense to the average American that is sitting around farting and giggling in their underwear, I'm generally curious as to who Googled me and what the reason was.

-"Midgets riding elephants."

-"Wedding dress from Love Actually."

-"Brad Pitt's workout."

-"Sniff her ass."

-"Killing bumblebees."

It's always good to start the day with a really weird laugh as to why people feel the need to Google such things. I have never ever done this because I just don't care. I've already seen it all and I know I've got a better body than Brad Pitt's "Achilles" from Troy. No amount of Pantene can impress me into seeing that movie. Waiting for the DVD so I can laugh at it.

My dad, on the other hand, has been working on Shrek 2 for a long time. I'm not sure what he is doing but I'm awaiting the opportunity to see it on my TV. Puss N Boots is my sole reason on seeing it.

To answer the question, there is just no way I can be a vegetarian. I wish I could do so but my body is adapted to chicken (It's something we eat everyday, here), eggs (Omelletes give me orgasms), and fish (Who doesn't like fish in some way? There are days that I feel like a hypocrite thanks to my love of animals but I eat meat. It's a big thing for a weightlifter to eat chicken due to all the protein. Add tuna to that as well.

Tomorrow, I will unveil my list of movies on DVD that everyone should own. I'm pretty sure I finished last night in the final category, science fiction. Why it took so long is due to my insane need to perfect yet it is still not perfect. I'm sure that there are movies I left off that I should not have. Owning close to 800 DVDs or more (I lost count last year) is tough along with my love of other things that clutter my insane mind. My mom is always surprised that I have anything together in life.

What am I thinking?

-I'd like to visit Canada again.

-I'd like to go south to see Bald-O soon but gas is expensive so I'm most likely staying on the July 4th weekend.

-Comic books come out today but I wish Ultimate Spiderman was in the list of newest issues to debut. I have to wait another week.

-I hate working out during the summer since my gym has no air conditioning but fans. Along with the blaring techno shit, I'm not in the best of moods. Give me Guns N Roses or Garbage or give me death!

-Don't you hate it when it gets so hot your undies stick to your ass? Oh, am I the only one? So sorry for mentioning this.

-"Can I borrow your underpants for 10 minutes?" One of the most beautiful lines in Sixteen Candles was said last night. Who says channel surfing is bad?

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07