I'm not sure how to describe the sight of all these little quail running around but it's definitely something. They dart here and there so fast on tiny little legs and occasionally there are some that like to just jump into the palm of my hand. The quail that sit in my hand don't do anything but sit there.

The funny thing that happened today was that another quail hatched out of its egg and lunged at me from the incubation chamber (kept at 110 degrees). I'm guessing that I'm looked to as "Mom?" Do I have what it takes to help bring these little shits into the world?

Good news......at least for me is that I found a place in a nearby town that is hiring! I've gotta get up early tomorrow and send this publishing company my resume so that I may be employed once again.

Interviewer: "So, Hedgehoggy, what have you been doing with your life?"

Hedgehoggy: "Well, I've been...uh...(trying not to answer with "drinkin')....uh....well, I've become a mother."

Knowing me, I will back up my answer with something completely ridiculous and find myself laughing all while a Monty Python tune starts playing in my head. Either that or I'll bring along some coconuts to irritate the other people being interviewed.

Well, the point is that tomorrow I will be up to do my morning sit-ups, errands, and to send my resume off for a look-see by this company. How am I going to explain to my chicks that I've got to work.

Hedgehoggy: "Look, guys, I love you all very, very much but I have to do something with my life. Suddenly, the life of working out and rearranging my underwear drawer just isn't enough. All of you may think about me now but you are one day going to fly away and try to shit on my car but hopefully you will get my ex-girlfriend with a massive load of diarrhea thanks to chilli."

Quail chicks: "Awwwwwwwww, we'll try to hit her all at once, right, guys!?!"

Just seeing J driving irratically all while being chased by 50 something quail that really have to poop is something to celebrate. On that day, we should make it a holiday along with the one that had the most massive dump being put on our nation's $10 bill. Fuck Reagan!

Okay, how would you like to own my original DVD of Underworld? I'm not kidding about this! Since I have the 2-disc Unrated Version, there is no reason for me to keep the first one while I have enough DVDs taking up too much space.

So, what I am thinking is that I will make a small contest of 10-15 questions relating to movies. Then, there will be 10 questions about how well you know me, Hedgehoggy. You've read my diary and know my thoughts so test yourself. Answer the most and I'll definitely send you my Underworld DVD along with a picture of me with some chicks....quail, that is. It's up to you.

I'll put up the questions that contain some really tricky movie trivia that you're really gonna need some time to think. I'll go along each year from 1980 or so til present.

"We are on an express elevator to hell, going down!"

Then, I'll do some questions about me that I'm sure Sammy will know a bit too much but don't worry. She's not too hot with movie trivia and she's seen my ugly mug quite a bit. Besides, Sammy's stuck in a cubicle all while dreaming of penguins that ask her every hour where the staplers are.

The final thing is that I will reveal my super secret email address for you to send the answers to. This will only be revealed for 48 hours and the erased due to too many people sending me shit like porn that Amanda has already sent me too much that clogged my account today. Damn her!

So, what do you have to lose besides the insanity of trying to figure out the names of all the soldiers in Dog Soldiers or what movie used the line "What's your favorite scary movie?"

So, I will print up the questions at the end of my entry soon. Hell, I've still got my Top 5 Categories Of DVDs Everyone Must Own to do.

"So, Alex, what game shall we play?"

I don't know what else to say since I've made myself feel like a farmer with chicks to feed, dogs to run with, and a mom that wants me to kill the weeds outside. I'll leave you with one of my favorite lines from Aliens said by Bill Paxton that I say when things get rough:

"Game over, man! Game over!"

- - 2009-07-07

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