I'm sure you hate the fact that you are virgins in that you've never actually seen or been with an actual naked girl. Yes, it's a very beautiful sight to see your first wet vagina, breasts, and firm buttocks. However, I'm sure I speak for about 99% of women in that girls do not want their asses sniffed. Stay far, far away from a girl's asshole and your first lovemaking experience may continue for as long as you don't make an.....(ahem)..ass of yourself. Only 1 out of all the girls I've ever known throughout life liked anal sex so please ask before you sniff. Just some advice and remember that girls' assholes are cute to see but leave your nose out of 'em. Thank you for listening and I hope the advice gives you a long and fun sexy time. If not, just stick your finger up your own ass and take a long whiff.

Alright, today was a good day for DVD extremists like myself. We can thank garage sales for a pleasant surprise that helped add onto an already enormous collection. I got the following:

-The Hot Chick (I love Rob Schneider movies ever since Duece Bigalow made me cry laughing. There's something about a male gigolo happy with making $10)

-The Changeling (An old ghost story with George C. Scott that I've been told is very good and extremely scary. Werewolves and ghosts scare me so I'll give it a shot.)

-Halloween: Ressurection (Dumb movie with some very cute girls. I've always loved Halloweens 1 and 2 so I feel forced to add to my collection. The third one is pathetic so stay away from it.)

-Bourne Identity (Love this movie! Loved it! I'm shocked that I never got this movie in the past. I'm not a fan of Matt Damon but he is awesome in this flick as a spy with great ability along with that Run, Lola, Run girl.)

-Knockaround Guys (Never seen this movie but its got Vin Diesel so I'm curious. Big guys need to be represented so I'm happy one of us is a tough guy and not a moron with Kindergarteners to watch over.)

So, how much did I pay? Would you believe I got all of those DVDs for $5 and I may go back to get 1 more if I remember. I checked the disks for wear/tear and they are very nice! No real scratches and such so I should be quite happy with getting all of these flicks at such a cheap price. I'm not sure how many more DVDs my room can take.

Okay, as I stated before, I'm giving my old DVD of Underworld away to the person that wants it. You just have to get a passing grade on the movie questions and me questions I am listing in a minute. I'll also send pics of me with my baby quail. They're cute so this is a good deal as well. Just email me your answers and everything is yours.

The questions (they are tough so think real hard):

1. What is the Vampire Lestat's surname?

2. Which film is playing at the drive-in movie during Twister?

3. What was the name of the baby in Addams Family Values?

4. Who is in Dazed And Confused, Flirt, The Doom Generation, SubUrbia, and Personal Velocity?

5. How many lovers did Carrie (Andie MacDowell) "have" in Four Weddings And A Funeral?

6. In Clerks, name the children's film requested by the mother in the video store.

7. In which scene in Trainspotting does Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" feature?

8. Only one member of the cast for Lord Of the Rings actually met Professor Tolkien (the author)-who was it?

9. Name the comic book characters created by Holden (Ben Affleck) and Banky (Jason Lee) in Chasing Amy.

10. When Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) takes a piss in the alley in The X-Files, which film is advertised on the hoarding he pisses on?

11. What does $22,000 plus Mike, Heather, and Josh make you?

12. What was the color of Hugh Grant's Notting Hill front door and why did they film there in particular?

13. What did Cameron Crowe want to call his movie, Almost Famous?

14. What film does Donnie Darko take Gretchen to see?

15. What was the fate of Saruman before The Lord Of the Rings: The Return Of the King was even released?

Alright, I hope those movie questions are fun to figure out. However, you have the following easy questions about me to finish this bit up:

1. What is my first name?

2. What was the first name of the girl I gave my virginity to and how old was I?

3. What brand of shoe do I always have on my toes?

4. What type of bird am I taking care of?

5. What foreign country did I visit and am dying to go back to?

Alright, if you want my Underworld DVD or just want to see how smart you are, email me at ***** This email address will only be up for 48 hours and then I will erase it. Please, do not send me porn. I've got too many friends (funny how it's girls that do this) that like to clog it up with pictures of twats.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07